THE POEM CALLED LIFE

Went up to the Girl at the front desk and gave my file. She looked at it and smiled. I went all cold at that smile. Was that a smile of consolation I wondered frightfully. I asked her which tooth was to be extracted and I also had to have a RCT. Its the Right molar and Right middle tooth for RCT she said. I knew it. Its the wrong side. All along I had this feeling that my doc was talking all Right and poor me thought she was mentioning about the Left molar extraction and RCT.Why?...Because it was the left side that was painful. My right side didn't hurt at all. She vanished inside rather puzzled. She came back and told me to wait......again?...oh the suspense was torturing me...... My doc came out and called me. I felt numb all over. She asked me what the problem was and on mentioning my plight she told me she would work on my Left molar and do a little filling later on the front left tooth. Done. That solves the problem. Now what? Ps- For the girl at the desk - am just a...

The coming months are filled with work and pleasure trips. January first week - Will be in Delhi on a work assigment. Heard its pretty cold in Delhi. Any suggestins on how to combat the chill are welcomed from the experienced lot. January second week - This week will begin with Grandparents Day at Achu's school. Achu is singing a song :). Then comes the Mom's event which am looking forward to attend. And will see me doing a lot of shopping personally and with M's family for my BIL is getting married early February. I love shopping and this is going to be fun.Might be some inviting work if its not over when we are in Delhi. January third week - Beautification of our flat, Packing stuff, informing the school that Achu will not be coming for a week, Last minute stitching amidst Pongal celebrations which majorly includes watching TV January fourth week - Sending off MIL, FIL and BIL , getting tensed jus for the heck of it :b, Calling up all my friends and informing I w...

The chilly chennai breeze gets into your ear Your M's Sinus worsens and he needs hot water and a hug every time he sees you ;b Your Achu's Nose is blocked and voice has cracked at 4 yrs!!!!!!! Your Amma who does 90% of your job gets a coff ,cold and feels feverish ( Ohhh No) You get a bad cold with occasional coff All of the above witness thick yellow flem first thing in the morning Noticed the new trend this winter in Chennai? The head gear...or rather the Ear gear This headphone kinda thingy that can be placed over the ears. It has become a rage in Chennai I find every Kuppu, Vadivu and Bhai sporting one They come in military colors And in different sizes Wondering how the poor bikers can listen to their FM with this gear on ...They have the will so they sure will find a way Am I getting One? Am getting Three for M, Achu and Me PS. Going by the old saying.... Am just 'Preventing' the chilly breeze from getting a few bucks into my ENT's pocket...

I started from office with my Acha at around 2.30pm for the dreaded appointment was at 4.00 pm. M agreed to escort me to my monster but was held up doing the usual boy stuff of testing yet another car. He told me he would reach home just in time for us to leave. Not knowing that any instance of upsetting my set plan would cause my BP to shoot up. Went home ate, brushed my teeth and was waiting for Dear M to arrive. And he did at 2.50pm. He ate and then asked me if I was ready to leave. I nodded. Acha asked me if I needed his presence. So sweet of him :) I wouldn't mind the whole world coming with me but then I said it was ok since My strong M was coming with me. We were in the car. The traffic at this hour was kinda suprising. And M started " I have to pick up my LIC papers. Let's do it on the way". Me: "What???? Noway we will be late for the appointment...grrrrrr" M: "Don't be stupid this will take just a couple of minutes" Me: Sul...

Tomorrow I visit the dentist ...my monster....at 4.00pm Can't really frame how frieghtened I am. The feeling of immense helplessness. I have to go and I have to go tomorrow. Have run away from this monster for 4 yrs now and today I confront him with lots of damage done. He took a look at my X ray and frowned...nodded his head in disbelief and told me there was lots to be done....GOD....my heart sank and my head felt dizzy... An extraction and a root canal for tomorrow and lots more to follow.... I am praying for my self today I am scared... PS. Realised that the more you run away from ur personal monsters the more the invincible they grow to be. But given a chance I will still run away yet again..maybe with a bag full of painkillers though.......

When every blogable moment passed I sighed. I couldn't get to the computer to update. And the moment vanished. Nope I really don't have a little note to jot down the event. Maybe I should start doing that. My Acha wasn't feeling very good and had a little surgery and around the same time my Amma had a fall and sprained her leg. Had my dear Anna and Valliachan to help me out though. They came down from Trivandrum at the right time and were of great help all through the dull moments. I was shuttling between hospital and home....My parents had a tough time ...went through a lot of pain...I hate to see them hurt....God got us across the hurdles ....Thank God and for all the Angels who helped us through the ordeal. Acha blames it on 'Sani''s transition and Amma on carelessness....I just think that its bad luck but find it reliveing that I got the oppurtunity to look after both my parents ...though I did have moments of anger and frustation...which I regret now. I...

Not many people in the world love you unconditionally...Atleast for me ..not many...I have realised that only my Amma and Acha have the unselfish love that even I cannot show as a parent to my child. I am blessed to have them as my parents and there isn't a minute in my life that I fail to understand that and be thankful for that. Unselfish Love is so so scarce and I have it in 2 ppl....I am guilty of being selfish even to those 2... out of sheer laziness that is... I find that they are very good human beings. They love without expecting to be loved...which is very very difficult in my case. I can't bear it when love isn't reciprocated. I can love an enemy or a stranger because I seek and find some good in every soul ...BUT I can't love somebody who knows me well if that person hasn't shown me instances of love or has shown me instances of hate.....I have the patience ....but for how long....there is a point when i tend to never forget the misdoing or undoings...

I begin the last month of this year today I remember so many things I wanted to do by the end of the year still lieing there intact on my to-do list I am guilty I am sad I am terribly lazy even at being guilty and sad........ Score Sheet Personal Acheivements : NONE Professional Acheivements : NONE Knowingly Done Any Good: NOPE Unknowingly Done Any Good : How would I know...Jus hope I did Rating for the Year : A total failure...and blame it on only the self Any problems that lead to the failure other than self : NOPE Infact I have all the support all around me ...God Bless PS. It's a secret and will let it out when the New year sets in........

Phew! Everyday when I check the blogs I read I keep scanning thru their blog list and then the chain jus keeps getting longer and longer...hop...hop...hop... I wish I was put in a room the whole day and asked to read up all the blogs I want to read..with food and a drink from time to time...AND be paid a good sum for doing it....That would be my Dream job....:) Some of these gals are so good ...blogs that interest me are - always women centric blogs - definitely crisp and funny blogs - mostly mommy blogs - sometimes art blogs - maybe fashion and fitness blogs - rarely male blogs - never serious blogs I get drawn to bloggers of similar -Thoughts and opinion -Situation in life..age might play a slight role :) -Location ...Indian blogs interest me more I get excited when I ralise that there a few other ppl out in the big bad world who are going through what I am going through.... - raising kids - raising husband ( yeah singular it is and will be:)...) - maintaining a...

Dance ...Would have loved to be a choreographer...Give me any song and I am confident I can dance for it...for sure Write....Poetry is something I started very young. Strongly believe that it is one super way to express what u feel without another soul knowing what its all about.Now a days I blog ....while poetry was polished publishing ..blogging is DIRECT. Nope the 2000s don't need diplomacy in thought. Draw/Paint/Sketch....From my biology classes to social science I found a reason to insert a picture into every answer I wrote...have entered many contests..still hunting for more...have won few...lost many....the love for art still earns to be nurtured  Talk to Amma: I love to share my thoughts with my dear mom....she has always been there for me....in every moment of my life . A great support and an inspiration ....my want for abro/sis ends when i sit and talk to her...now a days we rarely get the time to have our chats ...its all about what's for lunch dinner breakfast an...

I share my life with M with non-living things. I would like to describe these gizmos as nothing more than that. If there was a more basic explanation I would love to use it. The I phone - Sure an apt name for that thingy that makes any person be happy being the 'I' and not 'We'. M spends most of his time on it, with it and for it. I wonder how life was before the invasion of cell phones. I practically can't get through a normal conversation without M getting a call or making one or just going into a trance glaring at the whatever resolution screen baaaahhhhh! The Laptop - Occupies an equally strong position. Be it work or browsing or downloading he spends alot of the little times of togetherness we share with this laps all the attention. The Camera - This was once an obsession..lately in the lean period but will gain momento when he invests in a advanced model.This craze would have gained consent from me only if he didn't fancy clicking only his I phone gr...

- Nothing is expected outta them...except by their wives :b which is not considered as a valid expectation - Their mothers mother them ALWAYS - Work lasts only until they are in office space - They get to sit down and read the paper AND get the tea hand delivered..grrrrrrr - They can walk out, walk in, take a trip at any possible time with or without any kinda prior notice - Ask them their day's schedule and the answer is "I don't know" - Their mobiles are busy/ringing/not reachable...they are in a very important meeting... - They test drive a million cars a zillion times - ONLY their time is precious and needs to be managed - the greatest assumption ...they are always right - and the tea cup lies in the drawing room until it is accidently broken by the kiddo or picked up by the woman to be washed and kept ready for tomorrows tea ...baaah ! PS. There maybe exceptions...but sighhhhhhh....they will remain to be exceptions for another decade!

Tomorrow  21st November 2009  happens to be the most eventful day I guess....To start with ...since all the other days turn out pretty eventful when they end with no prior notice :- / First Invitation I received nearly 2 months ahead was that of my office junior. Then  My school friend's sister is getting married Then my client's son is tying the knot too So many knots all on one day I think this day (22.11.2009) happens to be the last muhurtham for the year 2009... The next muhurtham will be somewhere after 15.01.2010 and so the rush :) Its gonna be Rush day tomo....and what I have decided is Go for the day long meeting - get back in the eve- get dressed and go with achu and M for wed-1 reception- let Acha go for wed-3 reception- Sunday morn go alone or with achu or with achu and M for Wed -2 Ps - Hoping the day will be enjoyable..the degree depends so much on so many things... UPDATE : Had my damn migraine attack :( so couldn't go to any of the weddings....

- The readiness of a friend to give me company when I go to my monster ( the dentist) brought a tear to my eye...thanks Sayee :)  - The need for a sibling rises yet again in my life. But God has given me a bunch of cousins to fill the gap. - I know beliveing in God and surrendering to him is the only resort man has...and I am doing that every minute...God peace of mind is all I ask for...... - Learnt that getting a space decluttered  and organised is a ongoing process....always! PS. I know I can never be without certain people in my life.....I might live but it will never get the completeness it has with them in it....

I jus realised its been a year since I started blogging....Not many blogs but the thought that some of my feelings have been voiced out right here gives me a good feeling..... What  this one year of blog world did to me Made me realise how special certain otherwise forgetable moments are in life Made me laugh and cry with so many other bloggers who shared a piece of their lives with me Made me happy to find so many like minded strangers in the real world...a big relief :) Made me a better me...by giving me a place to vent out and be me PS. Hoping to blog for life......:)

Well it was sunday and it was special since I found my self inclined towards making some puris for breakfast. This event doesn't really happen unless saturday has treated me well... After all the effort and time I had rolled out around 14 - 15 puris for 3 adults and 1 child.... I fried the puris which were multidimensional....Don't know when I will master the art of getting a circular puri/chappathi ...I never tried to master it anyway...who cares...It should fit the pan/tawa..It should cook...It should taste good....that's a necessity...nothingelse is  :) And when I was half done ....a shape jus popped out of one of the puris I placed in the boiling oil that made my girlish mush shriek out....A Heart... A Heart...wow...A Heart... Well there wasn't a soul around....M and achu were fast asleep.....so I picked up my camera phone and clicked the moment....technology I bow down to u...for this moment could not have been cherished if it wasn't for u....:) I ha...

A Heart Felt Prayer answered. Thank You God Getting totally blank sometimes...not knowing what to do next... M going to Sabarimala so we started being veggies from 26.10.09 Having the mild headache I have, it skipped a month and now is back....:( A hunt for a cook remains just that - a hunt Finally drafted a weekly menu....yet to implement it...maybe from next week  I have this one little phrase that keeps popping in my mind " miles to go" which translates to "things to do" in raw terms....   PS. Thanks again God......Can't imagine how many things can go wrong if u didn't exist....Thank Heavens the atheist is wrong..

What I did My first trip to the capital .We stayed at The Park  where the Rooms were impractically classy and the Food sumptuously yummy  The initial 2 days had us in total greenery while the remaining 3 days  we understood that every city had its greens and greys  Visited the Red Fort, Qutub Minar ( yeah right from the history books to reality it jus popped out....) and the India Gate didn't do any shopping as we felt there wasn't much of a difference ...maybe we needed somebody who knew where to go....we shuffled our way through the shop filled lanes of  Palika bazaar and the like  I really wanted to sink my teeth into some hot jelebis and local cuisine but couldn't :( Went to Delhi - 6.... wanted to do the Masakali dance but restrained ;) ...it ( the maturity meter)  didn't stop me from humming the song.....over and over again PS. If the Destination be Delhi then the Project is Jelebis ;b ( can hear my M go " is there anything other than foo...

Life has become slightly hectic....a mad rush...not that it was any better before but then the effects of not being able to do the things I love is starting to surface.... I can't read the magazine section of the daily paper ( the only pages I read :)...) I can't chit chat sweet nothings to my friends I can't relax.... I can't jus stay for a sec not thinking about what next.... I keep saying 'yedhu cheyan' ( what to do ) with no perfect reason making ppl wonder why am so out of the world in the wrong sense that is I can't get the time to take my lil one to the places he loves (yeah a mummy crime* that is) I can't really get myself interested in coochie cooing with M  even though he somehow finds the time to..poor thing I can't be the daughter I want to be After all these can'ts....I don't have any satisfaction in what am doing What's the point ...I think.... Am I running to Stay in the same place.. Or is my running taking me...

Childhood had me in the best of character. Seriously. Now I feel so not-so-good.As one gets exposed to a greater part of mankind one can't keep up to being an angel anymore. Atleast in my case that has happened. I have no idea from where all those yucky traits such as jealousy, anger, incompatibility, suspicions, doubts, insecurity and many more just crept into me. It feels miserable. My parents adviced me that it isn't good for the mind and body. that's something I know. But I am truly human and ain't God to just let go and bear up with things that happen all around me! I always keep telling that it isn't tough to leave all worldly pleasures and pains and be a saint. The challenge is to remain a saint amidst the chaos and characters that surround you in the real world like my parents. They qualify a 101%.I tried and miserably failed....stopped trying since I feel it feels much better being what you really feel like being rather than suppressing your feelings. Y...

Its almost 2 yrs since we shifted to our apartment and we still haven't furnished it fully. Until a few months back the reason was achu my son. I was a bit scared of putting in stuff that would hurt my active kiddo. Though M thought I was being too careful and overprotective. Now achu has grown and we thought of moving on from living out of a suitcase. M and I shopped for a wardrobe which might be delivered at any point of time (for the past 20 days and the shop's representative has a 'not reachable' status). We received a 'Regret for delay' SMS yesterday. Atleast ...some hope! Yesterday we went to some local furniture shops in search of a shoe rack but landed up buying a dressing table Neat one for the price.When it reached a littke confusin in handling and 'bang' the mirror panel just broke. Sheeeshhhh! Now are we destined to live a unfurnished life or what?????? PS. Will take it as a challenge to furnish our home before the end of this month.....

My memory has been bad for a long time now. Nope I don't blame it as one of the post-pregnancy effects since I very much remember I had this trait right from school. One forgets only if one has initially put it into the brain. In my case I  am pure lazy to even enter certain stuff into those grey cells of mine.Maybe am being too indifferent. That's me. Take it or leave it. Sometimes I forget what I really need to remember. The real need arises when my forgetfulness hurts another. That's when I feel like hitting myself. Especially when the affected person calls me insensitive. I hate that.One of the ppl I hurt most of the time happens to be my dear mom. I love her so much yet there are these instances where I forget what she tells me to do and she does get upset about it. - Names ( I generally mention it to the person am introduced to that I might ask them their name the next we meet) - Dates ( note them as and when they are announced IF the calender is at arm's len...

My friends mean so much to me. Being an only child I guess the void of not having a bro or sis has made me place my friends in that space. I have met the best of ppl and have found out through experience that it is the most comfortable and true relationship two individuals can share. No other bond is so understanding. There are expectations and disappointments but the acceptance rate is much high in friendship. You tend to forget the faults...or barely see the faults of a friend...u enjoy the time u spend with them and appreciate everything good in them...Even during the worst of times if u have a friend to share it u are consoled. Don't really know if having a bro or sis would be the same.Often feel jealous of ppl having a sis or bro. And scared of not having one. Have made so many friends in my lifetime..... Some I have know all thru my childhood Some only a few months old Some who I haven't spoken to for years Some I cherish Some I have lost and yearn to find som...

There are so many things I want to write about...Sometimes I feel it would be so good if I could just voice out what I have to type....Yeah MTs will tell me they have softwares that do jus that... - About how dear my paretns are to me....I really want to put it down in words.... - On my school friends and days....was planning to write a book someday ...don't know when - then there are the times when I felt down and wanted to scream at the whole world - about annoying ppl.....don't know if I'll ever get the courage to write that down ...since words are to be carefully handled...it may cost more than it meant.... - of the great expectations of ppl around u and how they see u ....'u' is me here... Someday this space will have all my thought in real time.....lotsa catching up to do....

Today (09.09.09) marks the beginning of the end to living a cluttered life...... My Office room is first in the line....and yes I fairly did a neat job.... - shredded alot of paper I thought I couldn't take the next breath without and now I can breathe better - Changed the direction of my Table ...have to check whether its vasthu friendly..... - cleared up my files and updated alot of pending stuff....well...this doesn't stop right here...it jus spills over every time....the neverending job I guess.... What next?.... have planned a few adjustments and additions to my room....to enhance the interiors of my lil room and make it more 'me'.... Ps. My cousin sis had a dream which had 09.09.09 Chennai written on a paper amidst a pile of papers ...now we all know what that meant :)

Why is it that when a women plans she has to consider umpteen number of  happenings during her absence from the normal life line while the man doesn't even have a plan....instant-o experiences-o !!!!!!!! Why is that the gal is expected to adjust while the man jus remains...... Why is that I don't feel so empowered even though I am ....I feel guilty to use the power....!!!! Why am I born with a wanna-achieve head and a laid back physique PS. This blog is updated from time to time....cause I question   

September has to give me a chance to do what I want to do….I have to fight against none but myself to achieve my  yrs old to-do list.Yes if my list had a birth certificate it would be very much older than my son!!!!!

Wanted August to end the way I wanted to – Me receiving the ‘Achiever of the Month Award’ for ticking most …all of the to-do items but God thought otherwise… August ended with this .....  but hey I managed to VISIT THE DENTIST ….yes I did… On the eventful Thursday I fixed an appointment and prayed  they cancelled it or I cancelled it due to the reason of unforeseen fear gripping every single nerve in my system…but both didn’t happen I got into the car instructed my driver ..{ my husband was on my phone (actually my dad’s cell I borrowed since mine had a 0.24ps balance – it still has jus that) giving instruction since I know Chennai roads jus like I knew them when I first came here at 2 ;) } Ok we took the wrong turn….which is the right turn…let’s go back home …my mind shouted in glee…redirected we were at the dentist’s … We reached …God we reached … MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-s...

Last friday my son came back from school with high fever...jus when I was happy he went thru one whole week of school without a frown on face took him to Apollo where his pediac practises...he was too busy so took him to emergency and another doc asked us not to worry since he only had a fever and cold..prescribed medicines and sent us home His temperature remained high and he developed a sore throat by evening and pain in the joints... and we we were so scared and rushed him back to get HIS pediac to see him...but he was still busy and we had his assistant look at my son....he again prescribes some more antibiotics ....and sent us away...this time we asked him if we had to suspect the swine flu...and the doc jus mentioned that he doesn't think its the swine and that if the fever and sore throat gets worse we could check for swine I was so scared and my little one was boiling ....we wiped his body with water all thru the night and force fed some milk and water ...poor fellow was...

My days seem so boring I could fall asleep just thinking of what my day was like...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....wanna have a dose of sleeping pill...here goes wake up and mix some pediasure for my son wake him up and place him in a position he can watch Mr.Magoo and drink his milk all at one go iron his uniform, get some warm water for his bath ready ( warm must be cold but not coldddd and hot but not hotttt...warm must be the warm my son achu feels it should be each day), get his breakfast ready, put the clothes in the washing machine - simultaneously  During each break 'The Looney toons Show' offers I am allowed to dress him up for school.....break........come achu have a bath.....break...come brush ur teeth...break...put on ur clothes...no break.....I feed him his meagre breakfast.... 15 minutes before its time for school I call out to dada dear who is in deeep slumber ...luckily i don't need to dress him up as well :D....why i wake him up u ask me...well I need to get my ...

My Orkut / Facebook profile update for the month reads "August Affirms a Gust of August Augmentation of The Self". So its the 24th of August 2009 and I haven't done anything towards making this update true....Let's twirl the time frame a wee bit and have a glance of some of the factors that infact do add up to some kinda up gradation of the self My son Achu ...well... I don't think I have to explain that every new day with Achu is a new version of Motherhood ...it makes u discover the inbuilt tools u have ... I love u Achu Got myself gravely misunderstood at work causing a period of uncomfortable turns to a few thought-to -be well established relationships.Initially tried to be secretive about how miserable I felt but later blurted the whole thing as I can't act comfortable when am not . Am happy I expressed myself . It soothed the situation but I am sure I can't undo the knot completely. For things said can never ever be forgotten.....only forgiven ...

I don't know if its only me....but am totally petrified by the fact that we have a flu out in the loose that can actually kills us...and its so very easy....With so much of development in the world in all walks of life I find development in disease as well...a flu that multiplies ...a flu that is dynamic....God why? Am forced to be extra clean...extra cautious on travel...actually am avoiding any kind of travel....My parents and husband tell me am jus being too scared...but the news of the third death in TN is making me shiver....Am sending my little one to school....not whole heartedly though.... They say ayurveda , gargling with salt water, washing ones hands, not touching ones face, tulsi and amla juice kinda work as preventives....but for how long are we to be terrified of 'the' flu..... My Prayer list had jus found one more inclusion ....adding to the inumerable wants... Hoping God jus banishes the flu from earth.....

Well...just like me...all plans with no happenings....what should I say....Ok Listen here's my strategy..I will blog everyday....true to my caption 'my days my lines' ...its not a compulsive step....its a creative step;)... Today I feel like writing about where we live ...the earth Ever wondered what the direction of the time graph of the earth would be.....a big downward facing arrow I suppose...'cause in every passing decade ask man about his childhood and the reply would invariably be"Oh! those were the Good Old Days".....truly ask me today and u will have the same reply...ask my mom or dad you'll get the same phrase....that's one general line that has gained universal acceptance I say..So in conclusion the earth is getting to be bad day by day...yesterday was better than today and today better than tomorrow.... I wonder how the world will be when my son grows up...or will it end in 2012 as predicted by many ( hear say ...if u know what i mean)..its...