THE POEM CALLED LIFE

Life has become slightly hectic....a mad rush...not that it was any better before but then the effects of not being able to do the things I love is starting to surface.... I can't read the magazine section of the daily paper ( the only pages I read :)...) I can't chit chat sweet nothings to my friends I can't relax.... I can't jus stay for a sec not thinking about what next.... I keep saying 'yedhu cheyan' ( what to do ) with no perfect reason making ppl wonder why am so out of the world in the wrong sense that is I can't get the time to take my lil one to the places he loves (yeah a mummy crime* that is) I can't really get myself interested in coochie cooing with M  even though he somehow finds the time to..poor thing I can't be the daughter I want to be After all these can'ts....I don't have any satisfaction in what am doing What's the point ...I think.... Am I running to Stay in the same place.. Or is my running taking me...

Childhood had me in the best of character. Seriously. Now I feel so not-so-good.As one gets exposed to a greater part of mankind one can't keep up to being an angel anymore. Atleast in my case that has happened. I have no idea from where all those yucky traits such as jealousy, anger, incompatibility, suspicions, doubts, insecurity and many more just crept into me. It feels miserable. My parents adviced me that it isn't good for the mind and body. that's something I know. But I am truly human and ain't God to just let go and bear up with things that happen all around me! I always keep telling that it isn't tough to leave all worldly pleasures and pains and be a saint. The challenge is to remain a saint amidst the chaos and characters that surround you in the real world like my parents. They qualify a 101%.I tried and miserably failed....stopped trying since I feel it feels much better being what you really feel like being rather than suppressing your feelings. Y...

Its almost 2 yrs since we shifted to our apartment and we still haven't furnished it fully. Until a few months back the reason was achu my son. I was a bit scared of putting in stuff that would hurt my active kiddo. Though M thought I was being too careful and overprotective. Now achu has grown and we thought of moving on from living out of a suitcase. M and I shopped for a wardrobe which might be delivered at any point of time (for the past 20 days and the shop's representative has a 'not reachable' status). We received a 'Regret for delay' SMS yesterday. Atleast ...some hope! Yesterday we went to some local furniture shops in search of a shoe rack but landed up buying a dressing table Neat one for the price.When it reached a littke confusin in handling and 'bang' the mirror panel just broke. Sheeeshhhh! Now are we destined to live a unfurnished life or what?????? PS. Will take it as a challenge to furnish our home before the end of this month.....

My memory has been bad for a long time now. Nope I don't blame it as one of the post-pregnancy effects since I very much remember I had this trait right from school. One forgets only if one has initially put it into the brain. In my case I  am pure lazy to even enter certain stuff into those grey cells of mine.Maybe am being too indifferent. That's me. Take it or leave it. Sometimes I forget what I really need to remember. The real need arises when my forgetfulness hurts another. That's when I feel like hitting myself. Especially when the affected person calls me insensitive. I hate that.One of the ppl I hurt most of the time happens to be my dear mom. I love her so much yet there are these instances where I forget what she tells me to do and she does get upset about it. - Names ( I generally mention it to the person am introduced to that I might ask them their name the next we meet) - Dates ( note them as and when they are announced IF the calender is at arm's len...

My friends mean so much to me. Being an only child I guess the void of not having a bro or sis has made me place my friends in that space. I have met the best of ppl and have found out through experience that it is the most comfortable and true relationship two individuals can share. No other bond is so understanding. There are expectations and disappointments but the acceptance rate is much high in friendship. You tend to forget the faults...or barely see the faults of a friend...u enjoy the time u spend with them and appreciate everything good in them...Even during the worst of times if u have a friend to share it u are consoled. Don't really know if having a bro or sis would be the same.Often feel jealous of ppl having a sis or bro. And scared of not having one. Have made so many friends in my lifetime..... Some I have know all thru my childhood Some only a few months old Some who I haven't spoken to for years Some I cherish Some I have lost and yearn to find som...

There are so many things I want to write about...Sometimes I feel it would be so good if I could just voice out what I have to type....Yeah MTs will tell me they have softwares that do jus that... - About how dear my paretns are to me....I really want to put it down in words.... - On my school friends and days....was planning to write a book someday ...don't know when - then there are the times when I felt down and wanted to scream at the whole world - about annoying ppl.....don't know if I'll ever get the courage to write that down ...since words are to be carefully handled...it may cost more than it meant.... - of the great expectations of ppl around u and how they see u ....'u' is me here... Someday this space will have all my thought in real time.....lotsa catching up to do....

Today (09.09.09) marks the beginning of the end to living a cluttered life...... My Office room is first in the line....and yes I fairly did a neat job.... - shredded alot of paper I thought I couldn't take the next breath without and now I can breathe better - Changed the direction of my Table ...have to check whether its vasthu friendly..... - cleared up my files and updated alot of pending stuff....well...this doesn't stop right here...it jus spills over every time....the neverending job I guess.... What next?.... have planned a few adjustments and additions to my room....to enhance the interiors of my lil room and make it more 'me'.... Ps. My cousin sis had a dream which had 09.09.09 Chennai written on a paper amidst a pile of papers ...now we all know what that meant :)