Tuesday, November 15, 2011

By Hook or Crook

I am wondering how to get hold of a cook....
  • I tried getting one from an agency but they seem to be very expensive and the reviews seem to be bad
  • I tried to get hold of somebody from the neighborhood. No Luck.
  • I tried asking our driver to get hold of someone.He is still searching.
What to do???????Let's see if I can get one by the end of this week. I have to.

Ps. Dependence roots from the inability to perform or delegate. Ok Ok... or pure laziness. But this is different. Amma is the one who is doing all the cooking and she needs help.  

Monday, October 31, 2011

And the month is over!

- After Acha had his new medicines he seems a bit better.Hoping for the best.
- We are still hunting for a cook to ease Amma's tension and tire
- M has been traveling all through October. He says he hates it but I know he secretly loves it.I wish I could travel like him.
- Am *preparing for an exam. oops! I forgot to add a few more words * 'supposed to be'. I've not touched the books.
- Achu has and is busy with school, rain holidays, no rain holidays,diwali holidays,drawing class and playing with his neighbors

Ps: It has been one month and I didn't know I hadn't posted a single thing....The month got divided into 4 very busy weeks which in turn were filled with last-minute days......and whoosh! October 2011 gone forever!!!!!

Friday, September 16, 2011

What's been happening?

  • Acha's reports are not good. Prayers please. We have been given a weeks time to show better results. If they don't turn out good then we have to try other 'side effect' filled doses of medicines :(
  • Amma and I are in search of the perfect cook.Help us!
  • M is just being his normal self. 
  • Achu and I are waiting for his holidays. A long week to go
  • Gopa anna came for a week.Had his interview. Took us for a movie.'Mangatha'.The sum total of all the violence I have seen all through my life plus a bit more equalled the movie!...Not gory though. Would rate it with an ok.The break witnessed us having some pop corn iced tea coffee and coke ( Yeah! considering the eataholic I am this was very meager since I kept myself away from Mayo and the like). For dinner - Gopa anna had some Hot & Sour Soup , M Appam and milk and me some horrible kothu barotta.For desert G and I had yummy Ice creams while M had a glass of mango juice.
  • Missing having a brother or sister :(.....
Ps. Its a life that is moving on slowly......majorly -cautiously and hopefully.......with a sprinkling of sunshine here and there.....

Friday, August 19, 2011

The Unbalanced Scale

Other Job
Better pay

    Present Job
    Get to a 9.30am office at 11.00 am
    make your own deadlines
    Browse while you work
    delegate delegate delegate
    have a week long vacation and still get paid full
    talk rot about how awfully managed the 30 year old company is
    attend every minuscule function at any time of the day/week/month/year
    never do basic work
    get transport and transport allowance
    travel in India and overseas with luxurious stay
    loads of experience in different areas
    leave office when you want to
    blackmail half yearly that you would be paid ten times (!!!!!!) the salary in any another company
    and earn a raise (brilliant!)

    So what's the deal?

    PS. I had to write this out. Maybe years later the super ego/ immature will hit enlightenment or may be not.......BTW heard about the guy who drops the "I'll divorce" line every time there's a fight?....Strangely they are different chapters of the same book :)

    Tuesday, August 9, 2011


    Suddenly I feel all alone
    A shoulder I seek beside
    Though amidst a crowd
    Why do I feel deprived

    With uncertainties around me
    I seek just one defined
    One I can fall back on
    When the world acts blind

    Wonder which worldly tie
    is the most strongest and true
    For I have felt all the bonding
    But sadly confident of none

    So a materialistic life
    camouflaged with fake smiles
    and superficiality around
    This lone soul lives on............

    Monday, August 8, 2011

    Mixed Fillings

    Each day is filled with varied moments...some sweet and some spicy.........
    • I am a suryanamaskar-ist now :). It is so simple and effective. That's what they say.
    • A, my childhood buddy met with an accident a couple of days back. She is my yoga companion as well. She's got a fracture and so the both of us have decided to start after shes ok. Atleast that's what I want to do. She has been forcing me to continue.But I don't want to do it without her.A...you sure are going to get well soon di. My prayers are with you. I miss meeting A terribly :(
    • Went for S's second's birthday. Met up with a bunch of gal friends after a long time. Needed more time to dissect each others lives but hey we did start :)
    • Acha's follow up is coming up again.Tension mounts. Hoping all those levels are favorable ones.
    • Achu has a couple of days off this week and the next. He is growing up to be a whining,exploring,talkative darling...He takes turns in being them one at a time...
    • Amma is Amma....everything more nothing less
    • M ....I am in one of those moods when I shouldn't be writing anything. 
    • Me?...Am fine but wondering if everybody's life is as complicated as mine.........
    Ps. Yet again I understand that life is a dependency game. One minute you are totally independent, strong and motivated and the next minute you are made to be a shoulder seeking measly weakling... 

    Wednesday, August 3, 2011

    Tell me why....

    • do fathers have to be told to do things while mothers just instinctively do it?...Just give him the medicine I'll pack his lunch...just get him ready while I have my bath...why don't you take him along?....put on his shoes....can you give him a bath?... can you get him to do his homework?
    • are mothers held responsible for everything associated with the child?....You should give him food every hour he is so skinny....why hasn't he had his haircut?...his skin is so rough aren't you rubbing any oil?...
    • do fathers enjoy more 'me' time than mothers????????
    • does the kid adore his father so much and take the mother for granted?

    Saturday, July 23, 2011

    Whatz Happening

    • Acha's results weren't very good this time round. All of us are pretty worried. The doc told us to continue the meds for another 20 days and get back to him with the scores. Hoping things turn out good.
    • Amma is still fighting the flu that refuses to leave her. Trying to convince her to go for a master health check up. But there's this phobia our family has towards check ups that is keeping us away from having it done.
    • M is very much in town these days. We flicker,bicker and then snicker....the whole process is getting quicker! There are days when we LOL in togetherness and then there are days when we need to SOS.
    • Achu's health is my major concern. His cold isn't letting go. Have been trying all the home remedies ( Though not too sincerely) and visited the doc but nothing seems to work. He missed school for 2 days this week. 
    • I am in my own world of imperfection. The minute motivation strikes I get all worked up but sadly it lasts for less than a minute.Somewhere far away a voice keeps telling me " Time is running away. Use it wisely when you can."
    Ps. Insecurity encapsulates my whole self. The fight I know will be alone. To be well equipped is my aim....efforts put in.....nil!..God are you listening?   

    Wednesday, July 6, 2011

    Quick Update

    Wow! Its been a month since I got to write on my blog. Nah! Wasn't that busy...just lazy to sum up things that were happening quickly...here's the list
    • Acha's follow up score was good. A big relief to the whole family.:)
    • Amma had her does of colds,coughs and fever. She is still recovering. I got her birthday all wrong. She celebrates her birthday this month.Planning out something special. Yeah! She hates the fuss but then...I need to fuss...It's my birthright :)
    • Achu is a big boy. I barely get to spend any time with him now a days.I get him ready for school. Which happens with conversations at varied decibels and cannot be considered as quality time spent.He's at school from 7.45am-2.30pm.I pick him up, check his lunch box first then check for HW. I get back after my Yoga at 8.00pm. Feed him his dinner while he watches TV or jabbers stuff or cajoles me to play cars. Sit with him to complete his homework.Put him in bed at 9.30-45pm.....Where's the time??????
    • M is busy at work.He has to shuttle between states all through this month. We did get alot of time together when my cousin, niece and nephew were here. A bit of EA , a movie, a bit more of Skywalk, eating out , window shopping....that was a nice dose of togetherness 
    • Watched a couple of movies...Kung fu Panda 2,180 and Carz 2.Bad theatre, missing almost 30 minutes of the move made Kung fu Panda a bore...enjoyed the climax though. 180 was an ok movie....picturised well but suffered a seriously slim story line....Carz 2 was awesome..I loved it and so did Achu...
    • Picked up a few books at landmark's 3 for 2 offer. In the process of reading.
    Ps. Damn lazy to type. Life has been a rush...is a rush....I stop right here to thank all the people in my life who make up for the good and the bad.....the journey so far is good....God Bless

      Thursday, June 9, 2011

      The Lemons in Life

      • Appa had a little eye problem. Had a few tests done. Doesn't seem very bad. Needed new glasses.He is still on medication. Hope he gets better soon. He hates having pills you know.
      • Am into yoga now. Totally :). Oh! you guessed it. If am regular its only because I have company A, my school friend comes with me. We are on the beginners 3 month course. A is so flexible and am as stiff as a frozen sausage. But these 5 days of yoga sure has made me a happier person. Remember what happens when gals meet......;b.....But seriously I feel a bit agile you know.
      • Amma needs some good rest. Am planning out a schedule that will ease her routine.She keeps telling me she needs a break. Its high time I do something. Any ideas?...Hey! Its her birthday tomorrow!!
      • Achu's school reopens next week. Have to jot down a menu. Can't imagine getting up sooooo early and sending him to school with snack,lunch et al...Just imagine ...he has to leave by 7.35 am max!!!!!!!..sheeeshhhhh!
      Ps. Life is throwing lemons at me....a few caught me unawares and am making lemonade outta the other few :)..Pray God gives me the strength to make the best out of the worst....or rather don't give me the worst...please don't.

      Saturday, May 21, 2011

      Of Meets and Bleats

      • I wanted Achu to go to Swingers for a dance workshop but it didn't work out. So he went for another theatre and dance workshop which started 2 week ago and ended with a cute show yesterday.
      • KK was in town for Chinnu's admission. Acha got her into VIT. So am glad we might have more visits from KK for the next 5 years.  
      • P,U,C and I met up at my place. It was great. The kids came along so it felt good watching them play together.Our chats were restricted to kid-friendly topics. A you missed it darling and we missed you.
      • MIL is sick. She was in hospital for a couple of days. She is recovering. But at a very slow pace. She will need a physiotherapist for a month or two.
      • Had a little trip planned for next week but it got canceled. Poor Achu will not have a trip this summer to jabber about.
      • Its sure summer but we did have a little thunder storm yesterday night and a sweaty power cut to go with it. The search for the best inverter is on.
      • I optimistically blame my stars for what's going on in this chapter of my life while the pessimist is sad because she knows the truth.....
      Ps. Life is such a mix.Sometimes its a super six and sometimes it puts me in a fix.God please teach me the trix :)  

        Thursday, May 5, 2011

        Unconditional Love

        When I was a child
        It was easy to love
        and not expect
        I was loved
        all the same

        When I was a gal
        It was easy to love
        but expectations crept in
        and I was loved
        all the same

        When I was a lady
        It seemed easy to love
        and to expect -a right
        There was love
        all the same

        Now a woman
        Its a dream to love
        and not to expect
        Where is love ?
        I ask, in shame.

        Unconditional Love
        An oxymoron to me :)

        The Assembly

             Shashtri looked out and spotted Durga Devi looking celestial and jubilant in a purple and red silk sari. Her knee length hair was neatly decorated with orange chrysanthemums. Her bindi resembled the setting sun. A very masculine Sreenivas stood next to her. His physique could frighten any being in the vicinity. Then there was the very prosperous Madhanlal who wore gold and diamond rings on all his ten fingers.  
             Badri in his usual white dhoti kurta and his wife Roopa in a simple silk cotton orange sari with gold border, were there too. They looked disheveled by the 112 km drive they had. undertaken. Natrajan and his friend Vikram in their starched and ironed white shirts with khaki pants were restless for they were already late for school.
             Roopa’s desperate eyes fell on Jeevatha in her little pink polka frock, dancing, singing and playing hide and seek between Padma’s sari pleats. The little angel looked at her mother who seemed to be in a trance. She was thirsty but knew this was not the right time to disturb her mother. Bhima was there too, holding on to his car keys as if he was holding his baby’s tiny fingers

             Durga Devi a kuchipudi dancer received a letter confirming her participation in the prestigious Khajuraho Dance festival scheduled the next month in Madhya Pradesh. She is happy she will dance along with the best dancers in the country. For Sreenivas this was a part of his routine. He wakes up before the sun, takes a dip in the chilly fast-reducing lake, does his yoga, and comes here before heading back home where his ten egg whites and two glasses of goat’s milk wait to be consumed. His 5-year-old body building school produces the strongest men and women in the 18 panchayats around his village.

             Madhanlal is always after money. This time the poor farmer Velu suffered the parasite’s pangs. He thought he could repay the debt during harvest but the monsoons had a different plan. Madhanlal held the documents of Velu’s little piece of land in his hand. This is his last stop before heading towards the registrar’s office. Badri and Roopa were married for 2 years now. They were titled the perfect couple for the first year, after which the inquisitive neighbors found a reason to defy the title and wagged their corrupt tongues. They spent a lot of time arguing over whose fault it was that they remained childless. The couple had reached a stage of doing anything to keep those tongues at rest. 

             Nataraj spent time with his books everyday. Vikram thought about his books only when the exam dates were announced. These opposites were the best of friends. Nataraj and Vikram spent the whole night at the formers house preparing. Maths is tricky. Girija teacher loves to pick problems from some foreign-authored book. Jeevitha was wondering why her mother was taking so long. She had to go back and play with Bommakutty. She loved to braid Boma’s hair. Her precious Boma has been a source of envy and she cannot stay away from her for so long. She planned to ask her mother to buy her a kulfi stick and some hair clips on her way home. Padma wondered where her life was heading. She was confused. After her husband lost his job at the mill, his bad company has caused so much of trauma. Today she wanted support and answers to all her problems. After all, she has a little girl.                

             The vehicle reflected its fluorescence and so did Bhima. Being a proud owner of a Green Ford Figo isn’t a joke. The commission for processing the foreign loan had taken more time than he expected which kept him away from owning his dream. However, all’s well that ends well. Just when he got his driving license from D-Man’s driving school, he received the long pending amount. There wasn’t a moment to loose. The man had to have his machine. The moment he took possession of the asset, he knew he had to be here. 

             Shashtri came out and acknowledged the crowd. His silver plate had a few strands of Malli, a handful of vibhuthi, a few coins and a lit mud lamp filled with gingelly oil and traces of ghee. Adorned in sandalwood paste and shimmering attire the one-tusked Elephant God Ganesha smiled at his heterogeneous devotees filled with homogeneous devotion, from his 207-year-old abode.Then there was peace.

        Tuesday, May 3, 2011

        Snap goes the Cable

        Our power cables snapped at 8.55 pm yesterday. Called the power guys and they inspected the place and found a burnt cable.It was a hot summer's night and we were not very glad to know that our cooling appliances were not gonna work until the next day.

        Panic followed by expressions and emotions that resembled a family of ants disturbed by a burnt out match
        Amma: Oh no! What to do let's go to a hotel
        Acha: Let me call B and find out if anything can be done
        Me: Let's go to a hotel ...for a change
        Achu: Amma pediyarikkunu (Am feeling scared)

        Candles and emergency lamps lit, we created our own fans with Achu's puzzle books, the day's paper and a marriage invitation card.

        Option 1
        Since it was still early we checked a hotel close to our house. Extravagant you call it?....bear necessity I call it...it was boiling...thankfully we didn't have any mosquito friends buzzing into our eardrums. But then hey it was hot and we were bathing in sweat.
        Acha: Double rooms available?
        Reception: for which date
        Acha: Tonite
        Reception: From where are you sir?
        Acha: K...which is just 1/2km from the hotel
        Reception: No sir no rooms
        Possible reasons of denial: Love birds in search of a escape location, terrorists, a family deciding to end their life seeking the best place to do it :)
        There goes option 1

        Option 2
        A few other hotels were rejected by all of us, taking turns at it, the reasons ranging from no pick up vehicle*, poor ambiance,distance to many more....
        The fanning got even more frantic
        Then we decide to stay back and enjoy summer on the terrace or in our own furnaces with our self made equipments to prevent us from melting.
        9.25pm....With various other heated options faded the minute they flared
        we settled..Achu boy fell asleep.

        Option 3
        Acha called up AA who was at P, 2 kms away from home. He mentioned about all that had happened. And she was so sweet to offer to ask her daughter BA to come and pick us up. Amma and I found the idea highly unfair since BA would have been just back after a hard days work and settled down at home. Would you be liked to be disturbed by a relative just when you had cool wash,got into those cozy pyjamas, a hot drink in hand,settled down to read a book and planned to doze off after a long tiring day???? I wouldn't. It would be slightly ok if the relatives barged in and wanted some space in your pre cooled room and bed. It just needs you to have a angelic smile (fake or real doesn't matter),welcome them and vanish into your den.But this meant to take your car, pick the 4 hot humans of varied age and aptitude, bring them home, listening attentively to their power shutdown tragedy make arrangements for them to sleep with and without you, serve them food and then settle to share your once cozy bed with a sweaty adult and child-roller. Would You? NO

        But BA did all of the above and more.Thanks BA.You are a total GEM.And AA made us feel like it was our birthright to be there. (We the shameless exercised it to the max.)

        And it was Acha's Option 3 that clicked.

        It took the whole of today's morning before we had signs of the cable guys coming. They did it all up by 2.30pm.Achu and I were back home in the morning while Amma and Acha stayed back. 

        PS. Inverters are in! We need to get one immediately. The goodness that shines in certain souls turned on the inverters in me....One of those days you are ashamed to be you and amazed to see some amazing ppl still around :)

        Monday, May 2, 2011

        Of this and that

        • Went for a seminar at the Institute to gain CPE hours.Glad I went for it.
        • Got a few books from Landmark. Their having a 50% off on a section of books. Have to go and dig a bit more.
        • The heat is rising , power shut downs more often, watermelons and cucumbers on the road, a lot of sweat....Its the summer of 2011 at Chennai
        • Routine : AC room - AC car - AC cabin - AC car - AC shop - AC car - AC room . End of day. Willis I love you :)
        • Have to salute to the ironing man, the construction workers, the factory workers and the many who have to toil in the hot sun. Thank my Amma for standing in the kitchen which equals a furnace and still providing us yummy food. 
        Ps. Have alot of reading to do.

        Friday, April 29, 2011

        Time Machine

        Early in the morning I heard a car back up tune and it brought back memories.

        Made in India by Alisha Chinai. Sigh! I still remember getting introduced to Indian Pop with this song. So as I was saying, this sudden flashback has lent me a strong urge to write about the songs that still make me smile or tap my feet.Here's the list not exactly in chronological order
        That was so nice.Recollecting all those singers and songs, am feeling young again. Going back to the age when films,songs,dance,exams,friends and food  were the only concerns in life......Sigh!

        PS. Songs are really Time machines.:)


        Tuesday, April 26, 2011

        Venus Calling

        My FB Status message today "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus....High time we got back to our own Planets :b"
         Totally upset over how men  get to be total %^&* and still get away with it.
        I haven't been verbal about it but I need to vent
        Most of the men in my life ...
        • feel they deserve what they get and so are never grateful
        • find it demeaning to request/ask so they only demand
        • never listen but need total attention when they drop a word or move a toe
        • claim to be always right so the other side happens to be always wrong
        • swear that being loud = being right
        • hate shopping with women or claim to hate it  
        • underestimate women...on second thoughts...underestimates everything except self (which stands totally over estimated )
        • never admit their solutions came from sources other than their grey cells ( unless they want to flatter someone)
        • can't whisper and want the whole world to know they are on the phone
        • are untidy and feel their gender doesn't allow them to tidy up
        • can't digest failure or swallow success
        • have a king sized bloated ego ( make that a capital B and E) and a pea sized brain (conservative in all dimensions)  
          Self respect is healthy until it starts eating away another person's respect.I am so unlucky that a majority of the men I meet happen to fall under more than one of the above points.Even the most humblest man needs to be acknowledged that he is humble.I have heard that a lot of money was spent so that Mahatma Gandhi could live a simple life :)
          Venus, here I come.......
          Ps. Why haven't I mentioned about women? That's for men to write about.
          Why haven't I mentioned any good about men?...Simply because I'm in no mood to zoom the minuscule
          Gee! Just when I thought I wouldn't be complaining anymore......

        Monday, April 25, 2011

        Bitter - Sweet

        Relationships today can be categorized by the way they deal with the money they earn. Gone are the days when the man managed the money and the woman managed the home. The percentage of earning women has risen. That’s where a bitter sweet relationship is born. Its sweet because the inflow is more and bitter because of the complexities it brings with it.

        How do double income families manage their money?

        Husband and Wife Situation
        In the long run this breeds discontent.
        A fixed amount given  to spouse who manages all expenses
        Confusion during higher expenditure months. Savings for the family are left out.
        Joint account with fixed sums transferred every month out of which both of them spend for the family while individual expenses are done out of their personal accounts
        Individually for self and out of joint account for children
        Workable. A total business set up.
        One of them spends for a period. Then there is a shift.
        The other saves for a period. Then there is a shift.
        Workable until the  trust and commitment in the relationship lasts.
        Separate accounts but well communicated expense structure keeping in mind the tax implications
        Saving is done to benefit the family and both individuals
        Perfect plan for the perfect couple

        The above situations are the few I have come across. There maybe many more arrangements. It is sad to see how calculative relationships can be. The older generation is quite surprised with the  present systems  that exist between a couple. I would advice couples to talk about their finances before they get married rather than to wait for the initial generous phase to wear out and reveal the ugly discontent , before taking any action.Any thing less than the total transparent approach will lead to problems somewhere down the line.

        Exceptions: Where there is love and love only I guess none of the above factors would affect the couple’s spending and saving pattern. Sigh!

        Friday, April 22, 2011


        I am denied the right to complain because....
        • I have my mother who is doing so much of work from 5.00 am to 12.00 am and doesn't grumble at all!!!
        • I have my father who has been having health issues for the past 2 years and still has his attitude strong in place
        • I have my son who is a totally cranky five year old only when he is hungry or sleepy - otherwise he is an absolute gem 
        So I am going to
        • compulsively stop complaining
        • look up to the 3 individuals when I am tempted to
        • keep myself constructively occupied
        Wish me luck :)

        Ps. Updates of "constructively occupied" will follow :D

        Saturday, April 16, 2011

        The Son

        His birth was
        just a biological event
        Born with him
        a thousand emotions
        and ever rising
        Feeding him
        With shares
        his and hers
        He grew
        into a charming lad
        Old enough to graze
        Her eleven cows

        It was his birthday
        And she had added
        another cow
        To count to his age
        As the special supper
        sumptuously simmered
        Cows the whole dozen
        Were back in time
        cowherd astray
        That fateful day
        she lost her dear
        The line of control
        he unknowingly crossed
        She fought
        With shadows
        at blurring heights
        Talks held
        Treaties flipped
        All in vain
        Each night
        her pillows wet
        Each dawn
        Her wait begun
        A childless mother
        a nightmare she
        refused to accept

        One by one
        The cattle count grew
        She never failed
        her practice
        It kept her well
        at body and mind
        All the prayers
        All the love
        All those years
        of endless hope
        brought back her son
        Bodily weak
        but strong within

        Came back to
        his loving mother
        and cattle...
        a double dozen.

         I sketched this picture years ago on the computer. Started out with a black canvas and then worked out the whites. Its a very easy technique. :)  

        Thursday, April 14, 2011

        Short Stories- Butterflies

        This is more of an essay. Was supposed to be a Woman's Day post. :)


        Lalitha with one year old Gowri clinging on to her took small but fast steps towards the house she visited ritually for the past 5 years. She was the sun’s clock, for as she knocked at the large gold painted iron gates of ‘Ashanivas’, the sun leisurely rose. She placed the bag of freshly strung jasmine on the gate and hurriedly left. Her husband and four school going kids would wake up and demand their morning breakfast of yesterday’s rice soaked in water flavored with green chilly, before they dispersed for their busier day.

        Shantha nodded as lalitha smiled and said “See you tomorrow sister” before she took the turn. They had no time to have their 5 minute gossip session today. Shantha took the cover, opened the gate walked across the dew coated grass, placed the flowers and the milk cover she brought in the blue and white jute bag in front of the large teak door. After this she had to go to the school where she worked as an attendant. She was lucky the management sponsored her last daughter’s education. There wasn’t a day that passed without her being worried about how she would get all the 5 of them married into good homes. That was all that mattered after the ruthlessly fast electric train killed her poor drunkard husband.

        Ambiga wished she could continue her bountiful dream. The warm morning breeze sucked her back to the vacuous reality. She picked up the straw broom placed tactfully behind the water pump. With a bucket of hard water and mug filled with snow-white rice powder she waddled across the stoned pathway and out of the gate. As she engaged in the sweep and sprinkle routine, her mind travelled miles away to the brown cattle-plough strewn moist grounds that transformed to golden crop-laden fields. She created the most complicated designs on the wet mud with her work-worn fingers. It has been a decade since she left the little hut that housed her father, sister and two brothers. She was the eldest and deemed to be God’s child. This meant she didn’t have the right to marry and would have to serve her family until death. When Janaki brought her home she had made sure the boys were independent and married off her little sister. Today everything she earned was sent every month to her family. She wanted nothing but her dreams.

        Janaki knew Ambiga would dilly - dally her morning duties so she quickly freshened up and came down the wooden stairs. There was a long list of chores to be done and delegated. Her mind had imprinted the menu for the day. Her day primarily consisted of doing the pooja, cooking, cleaning, watching a bit of TV, having a nap after lunch, pooja and cooking again. She placed the flowers in the pooja room and the milk on the stove. “Ambiga, Come in fast. You don’t have the whole day to clean.” she screamed while getting the vegetables, cereal and dough out of the refrigerator.

        Little Asha in her little blue pinafore and white shirt came and hugged her grandmother. “I want my glass of rose milk, now” she cried. Janaki consoled the little one with a kiss and gave her an apple to nibble on. “Apple every day doctor goes away” sang a very distracted Asha.“ Preetha come down and get your daughter’s milk ready will you” yelled an otherwise very patient Janaki. Her husband would be here any moment after his half mile walk. She had to keep the newspaper, tea and ginger biscuits ready.

        Preetha was getting her wet hair braided after her two minute bath. She had a meeting to attend at half past nine exactly 7 kms away from the mirror she stood in front of. She monotonously wore what her hands could find rummaging her textile teeming closet. She cursed herself for watching that romantic comedy on TV the previous night and applied a bit of kajal on her sleep deprived eyes. “Come on baby let’s go to school” she said stuffing her mouth with diet cereal and tapping her recently acquired iPad with rapt attention.  

        The day had just begun and these butterflies flutter in life’s wild garden, with similarities and differences so colorful making it a Beautiful life.

        Saturday, April 2, 2011

        When cricket happens...

        • the boys are busy and are attracted to the same sex for company
        • the girls are busy feeding them with intervals of  tea and bites ( we hate it!)
        • otherwise the girls are just catching up on gossip at peace ( we love it)
        • the roads are empty
        • the mannequins dressed in team attire
        • Ind Vs Pak equates to be more than just a game
        • but the sales people at shops go blank
        • the eardrum receives endless streams of commentaries
        • the office is as silent as the match is
        • the Alt and Tab keys suffer
        • if your status msg doesn't have cricket you are ignored
        • every advertisement has to feature a cricketer
        • the remote has a single owner
        • the whole nation's patriotic veins pop-out
        PS. While my whole world is watching cricket I type....All the hype never gets to me...After all its just another game! 

        UPDATE: Well yes I am here to tell you that I got bitten by the Cricket bug. It was a great match afterall. The Sri Lankans were equally deserving and that made the win more meaningful. For once I was happy we won and sad the Lankans lost. It would take another over hyped  series and finals to get me talking about cricket again.

        My FB Status read "Cricket hasn't been my favorite game.Always wondered why there had to be so much of a hype. Every advertisement has a cricketer, shops selling the team attire, the India-Pak match given final match status(!!!) and equating cricket to patriotism. Yesterday it happened to me.The cricket bug bit me and bit me hard :).One more reason to be a proud Indian.Winning against an equally wonderful team Sri Lanka made the victory meaningful. It was a game and I enjoyed it.The Comedy is that the players will be given demi-god status until the next flop show they put up.So Blue Boys soar high until India wonders why.JAI HIND!"

        Thursday, March 31, 2011

        The End

        Death is such a scary thing
        Especially when it happens around you
        One of our clients passed away two days back
        There have been many deaths in the last few months
        They were all equally shocking
        So sudden
        I cannot console any person who has lost a loved one
        I don't believe in such consolations
        The loss is a loss and nobody can live the same after the loss

        Ps. Death is something only humans have to deal with...Why God Why?

        Saturday, March 26, 2011


        However much we try to to be independent there are times when we need somebody. True. But in my case there's more to it. I am not the independent type. I have been brought up to be very dependent. I am still the laughing stock of many of my friends because I need to go through a whole range of 'sanctions' before I can do anything.

        Sometimes it is irritating when you think " Hey I am 30+ and still need to inform people on what I want to do and am doing." No not sometimes...lately I have been thinking about this most of the time.But I don't have the drive to break free. Its rather comfortable when you have people around whom you can blame your decisions or inabilities on. That's exactly what stops me from being independent.

        I do envy people who work around doing all they want to and much much more. I realise that I can be one of them very easily if and only if I break the strong self constructed cage I have put myself into.Initially this cage was created and guarded by others around me but today I safely remain in it even though I can open it and fly high.

        Ps. Isn't it a crime to know one's mistake and just remain........? 

        Monday, March 21, 2011

        Where am I heading?

        I just read a friend's blog about feeling unsettled. I feel very much the same. Except that she was settled but felt that there was something more she needed to do and I am totally unsettled in every angle that exists.

        Home front : We are still looking out for an apartment. With so many requirements in mind its impossible to get one. We vacated our flat last week and dumped all our stuff at Amma's place.

        Office front: Haven't been doing much of good work lately. Everything I do is either pending approval, gets scrapped or is totally wrong. I have been getting frowns and complaints from all sides.

        Health front: Put on oodles of weight. The discomforts that come with the flab are taking over my once energetic life.I remain a silent spectator,my mouth filled with food always.

        Clutter here, Clutter there, Clutter Clutter Everywhere!

        Ps. Wonder where to start ?? *A totally confused me

        Thursday, March 10, 2011

        Systems and Relationships

        Parents -Kids
        In western countries children are independent even before they finish their primary education. They earn and support themselves at a very early age. They move out or the parents request them to move out of the house and find their own place when they are 18. Why doesn't this happen in India? Here the parents plan for their child's future and save for the kids. They live their whole lives building their child's future.Is this right?

        My Opinion - The western trend is good in a way.But there should not be any alienation. I feel the child has to be independent but has to grow up within the network of the family bonds. The concept of the family must not be lost.The parents need to understand to live their life to the fullest so that they don't expect too much from their children and vice versa.

        Family System
        Ages ago when families were large the joint family system did work. The wives maintained the home and children while the husbands worked and managed the finances. Now a days, with nuclear families and  double earnings in the rise, the concept of joint family has met its end. Couples prefer to live on their own. Is this good or bad?

        My Opinion - I feel it is unnecessary to put myself in a situation wherein my relationships might get strained. In a joint family these kind of situation are very common even though the people involved might be cordial and good willed. I often remember Visu's movie in which Lakshmi requests "Let us be in separate houses and gather during family functions or the like.Then there will be more peace and harmony"

        Husband and Wife 

        The joint family system brought the husband as the independent bread earner and the wife as the dependent bread maker.And they were the perfect couple. Now the wife is educated, earns her living and has a mind of her own.What does a perfect couple mean today?

        My Opinion - The advantage of the age old model was the love that existed between the couple. Couples today sadly have a very calculated form of love.There are couples who divide their family responsibilities, couples who are singly handle the responsibility and couple who don't have any sort of plan. Amidst the combination there are happy couples, fighting couples and matter-of-fact couples Some are content with their plan some are not.Is it right for men to be stuck in the system that existed 4 decades ago? Women have changed but only  a few men have digested the fact that women have changed.Am not blaming the man alone. The ego is the culprit. Where there is ego there is downfall.Both man and woman should respect each other's space,interests and shortcomings only then will they be a perfect couple. Tuff na?

        In India we serve our parents.We believe that it is our dharma to do it.Parents who have lived their total life helping us in every stage need to be cared for.The sons looked after their parents while the daughters their Inlaws.So what happens to the family with only girls? They look after themselves. I guess that's where the  demand for the boy child rose :)

        My Opinion - Today the dharma still exists in our minds.The elderly parents of today have toiled for the well being of their children who are adults now.We are in a very sensitive intersection of time.But I hope to get my future right. When the world changes so will my kids. The kids will have to live their life and we ours.    

        Ps. If you try to draw a line through each point the role of the woman comes through. It is her changing role that has caused the system and relationships to change.Thought he old system brought in alot of peace in the system I think the challenge lies before both the woman and the man to make the present scenario peaceful as well :)

        Tuesday, March 8, 2011

        Stories - All Aflame

        All Aflame

        Preetham and the whole of his territory was being tormented by the fiercely shining cruel summer sun. As he stood there gazing at the source of discomfort he pulled out his arsenal one by one. It was going to be a tough day.  

        He knew his administrative center would be sweltering but it was his childhood blaze to be a ruler. His region may have been minuscule but what mattered was the power he possessed. The authority he held. He was proud to be who he was and it showed in his apparel and his mannerisms.

        The well maintained moustache he often fiddled with when he caught an offender contrasted his receding hairline that exposed his glaring scalp. His crown offered some cosmetic balance. One wondered whether his expansive limbs made his tummy seem fuller than full or the restrictive paunch made his limbs look overworked.          

        If it was not for him, his jurisdiction would be in total chaos. Everyday he directed his wards on how and when they were to proceed to their independent goals. On some days there were obstacles that would ruin his plans and routines. But he was always well equipped. Twenty years of experience in different regions had bestowed upon him the foresight to resolve contentious issues even before they crystalised.

        Ram looked hot and handsome in a maroon and cream kurta. So did Iqbal in his sequined purple shirt and boot-legged jean. Shankar in formals didn’t have any plans to attend his ex-crush Farah’s wedding until his mates gate crashed and distanced him from his cool cozy office cabin into the sultry exterior. They enticed him with the heavily seasoned Hyderabadi biriyani and ghee oozing warm carrot halwa they would indulge in at the Nikah.

        Shankar’s sizzling aerodynamic Yamaha Libero G5 took off exactly ten minutes before its sturdy drum brakes were tested. “Please Sir. Just this one time” pleaded perspiring Shankar as Preetham Raja, Traffic Inspector of P1 Pulianthope signal undauntedly wrote out a ticket for Rs.100/- under section 122 of The Motor Vehicles Act. “Triple riding is an offence. Pay up and one of you take the bus.” he sternly commanded, while focus on his terrain continued unabated like the scorching sun.         

        Monday, March 7, 2011

        Stories - Kasthuri Bhai

        Kasthuri Bhai

        The door bell rang as I expected it to at half past eleven. I lay there on my bed unsurprised by the new entrant into my overcrowded room. The day was almost half done but my mundane chores remained undone. She was preparing for the next thirty minutes of fun. At least that’s what she called it.

        While her concoction was being warmed she changed from her vivid attire to a rather uninteresting costume. In the meantime I reluctantly undressed myself baring my over sized engraved self to the chilly breeze that managed to gush through the door that let her in. She banged the door shut and barged towards me with her potion.

        Drawing her hands together she bowed before me. For any other person the whole procedure might be relaxing but for me it was an ordeal. She made it a point to plait all my muscles and weave my nerves. Her hands caressed every single atom I was composed of. She proved her years of practice on my flesh. I was happy when she splashed boiling water on me because that concluded the session of torture for the day.

        And then it was his turn. She effortlessly stripped and drenched him in the still warm liquid she prepared. He did enjoy it more than I did. He was surprised at how she knew all his weak spots. She did not heed when he protested on her handling certain areas even I didn’t dare to explore. I hated her for that. I know he hated her too. But we couldn’t question her expertise.

        Wrapped in fresh sanitized clothes both of us lay in bed again while she changed her outfit. She resumed her story from where she had left it the previous day. My attention span ran to exactly two minutes after which my eyelids found reasons to shut. He was having his usual drink after which I was sure he would have his siesta. He was least interested in listening to her animated tale. She sipped her hot drink and told me how satisfying her job was for her and for her regulars. I gave her a faint smirk and nodded in agreement.

        She neatly packed up all her mixtures, cleaned the stained utensils, positioned them on the sun sprayed window sill and gave me the most cheerful smile for the day. She had made some not so spicy brinjal curry, dhal and rice at six in the morning before she left to attend to her first prey. Her bedridden husband will be waiting for her. We were her last clients before lunch. She will have four more victims after three.

        Innumerable wet and dry nappies, three musical rattles, two soggy teddy bear stamped rubber sheets, one blue umbrella mosquito net with two holes, few milk stained towels, a couple of barely read books, blue bed sheets and clothes formed my environment for the past ten days. I wished I could doze off amidst all the clutter. But I had ‘feed time’ on the log sheet prepared and he was having his fill.

        “All your baby fat will vanish in twenty days kannamma and raja will grow into a strong boy. I will be back tomorrow.” said Kasthuri Bhai our local masseur. She opened the door again. This time letting in the aroma of a sumptuous protein and calcium rich lunch that would wake any drowsy lactating mother in the neighborhood. And for the first time my face bore a genuine smile.

        PS. My first short story.Usha has been my inspiration. She is my guru and is doing the painful task of editing my stories.

        Thursday, February 10, 2011

        Pondy Trip - Part 1

        Am sorry its almost going to be a year. I just fished this out from the innumerable incomplete blogs I hold....

        We are a batch of 5 school friends who don’t miss a chance to meet . Our last meet proves how much fun we have when we are together.

        This time we decided our husbands should meet too. And then it all began….

        Innumerable calls to decide on the who,when where what how …

        Who: P with husband N and twins V and N; A with husband Pr and kid Ak; U with husband B and kid N and G ( that’s me J..) with husband M and kid Achu…C couldn’t make it since she has a school to run
        When : May 1st …since it was a holiday …we had a whole weekend before us
        Where : Pondicherry…because our men wanted long drives
        What : We were to have fun, enjoy the sea at a resort and visit places in pondy
        How: 2 cars would be enough …M and N would drive….later Pr decided to drive too…so it was 3 cars so that P and family could comfortably come in a car

        The Plan : To leave city early Saturday morning, have breakfast and reach the resort by afternoon , have lunch, relax, go to the beach in the evening, out for dinner. On Sunday go to POGO land (theme park)  in the morning , have lunch, Visit the Sunday market , check out and drive back to Chennai after stopping over at Mayajal if time permits.

        Should Mention : While M,N and Pr weren’t very sure things would go as planned B helped in the planning. He surveyed all the available resorts with P( who even sent out her team member to personally check the places…thank u Mr.J  ), U and me and booked 4 rooms at @Nalla Resort …If this mention should instigate some interest in the other husbands the next time round I will be happy ( with the 1/zillionth chance of them reading this blog) 

        A week before : A was worried Ak had a bad cold and fever…but we told her there was one week for recovery….

        Two days away  : P backs out stating N has to work through the weekend (she did warn us to begin with but I was sure we would make it …all of us ).

        One day before :P’s status didn’t seem to have any improvement and things were getting worse. A  was also in two minds but then P convinced A to make it and A agreed. So it was A, U and Me with P on hold.

         Nope its not on D Day that things changed …its still one day before and 10.00 pm:

        Cell Rings 1
        Its P: Ponne leave it di . Am out. There’s no way I can make it. N is still hugging the laptop . The kids want to come but am sure its not going to happen.
        Me: Hey don’t worry am sure N will get it all done.
        P: No no am bugged . It’s not going to happen. I told you. You gals have fun.
        Me: Let’s hope for the best…we will be expecting you anytime di….even if we leave you can catch up with us ok?
        P: Sigh….fine
        M gives me the “ I knew it look”

        Cell Rings 2
        A: Ponneee ( I hate that tone and I knew whats coming up)…A is sick di…was thinking will surely come but then A vomited and has a slight temperature.
        Me: huh! ( Immense sadness engulfed my mind…though we agreed upon backing up if our children fell ill and I totally understood that if this had happened to me I would have backed out …some part of my brain and the whole of my heart failed to register the scene)
        A: Sorry di …U gals go
        Me: A ….please di see if he gets better and come…P backed off…now its you…P might come di…pleaseeeee
        A: I thought I will di but…..
        Me: softly….ok A bye
        A: Have a nice time
        Me : sigh
        M is packing , asks me what happened and gives me a smirk…hah!

        Cell rings 3:
        U: Hey ponne packing over?
        Me: Both of them are not coming …sniff sniff… I hate planning ….
        U: Oh! Its ok G let’s go…let’s have fun….I have packed wanted to ask you what all u have packed…and whether you need anything else
        Me: Though biologically I was having a very bad headache (yeah the usual gal thingy) and philosophically my mind was filled with disappointment….this gals attitude and B’s preparations made me say “yes ponne packing all done and let’s jus go” 

        U and B made it a point to get themselves prepared for the trip right from day one. U called me and told me B had asked her to prepare a list of the things required and she reminded me what all should be taken. 

        Cell doesn’t ring …I send a message to all the others that voiced the pain in planning and getting disappointed…pretty rude on my part I should say...but I couldn’t help it. ….

        to be continued.....

        Ps. Don't ask me when am gonna complete this series.....

        Tuesday, February 1, 2011

        Just an Update

        • Acha not feeling well after his trip to Kerala. He came back with a bad allergy and is feeling all drained out.
        • Amma has a bad cold and coff but still has the routine work of feeding 5 mouths and setting their day for them
        • MIL is sick and we don't know what is wrong. Hoping a few tests get things clear and she can get the right medication.
        • Achu has a coff and cold . Maybe from Amma. He is enjoying his sick leave. 
        • At work things are pretty hectic with a few deadlines cleared at the moment.
        • Our flat needs to be cleaned up and a million chores pending 
        • M and I shuttle between check ups, school, office and homes
        • A sort of unrest prevails all around
        • Its really peaceful to get into bed and dream through the night....in a different world
        • M and I still find small reasons to smile about ...but all of a sudden things seem not quite good
        • God's presence is felt ...
        • Prayers Prayers Prayers
        Ps. There are so many decisions to take during the next few weeks....Have our fingers crossed and Holding onto God 

        Wednesday, January 19, 2011

        Aadukalam for Anniversary

        The first anniversary 7 years back was spent at mayajaal. The movie we could watch was " Devathaiyey Kandein" starring Danush and Sreedevi. We didn't have a choice.

        So on the 7th anniversary we decided to watch a movie starring Danush.This time it was "Aadukalam."

        How it all started....

        The morning began with a few wishes from relatives,cousins and friends frantically wanting to know what we were going to do and what M gave me and I gave him.The calls and messages came ONLY to me because M seemed oblivious until breakfast when I  had to mention the difference between yesterday and today. GOD!

        Me :I received a lot of condolences today....
        M: Huh! for what   
        Me: For having tied the knot
        M: Oh! Today-a

        And then we left to office....
        11.30 am - normal
        12.30 pm - normal
        1.30pm - very normal
        2.00pm - hungry so called M and Acha to leave for lunch
        Driver left early since he had some work and so M and I drove back home

        Me: Hey shall we go for a movie
        M: A Danush starrer like the first year...moderate smile
        Me:Anything ( am desperate when it comes to movies )
        Me: There's Seeruthai . Heard its full of violence. Then there's Kaavalan..which has vijay in it err then there's Aadukalm....Atleast the gal looks cute ...
        M: Ticket kedekuma? ( will we get tickets)
        Me: hmm Let's see

        Discussion ends

        After lunch
        I revive talks and refresh updates about the show timings and halls from the paper. We plan to leave to office and check if the tickets are available, book and then go.

        So we were booked for the 7.15pm show.

        The movie wasn't what I expected it to be. Both of us didn't like it. Clear? Now for some details.
        Dhanush: Rural self 99.9% charming 00.1%
        The new gal: Cute 100%  scope 0%
        The story: of a  guru-sishyan relationship.
        The backdrop : a village with a cockfight tournament forming the base

        Ps. Had a great day....anything other than the ordinary is great na?

        Wednesday, January 12, 2011

        Aditi Devo Bava

        When we have guests/relatives at home its normal work plus
        • Paying the extra bills - Acha's work
        • Organising their appoinments around the city -Acha's work
        • Have to plan the cooking /ordering for the day - Amma's work
        • Set up the rooms - Amma's work
        • Clean , clean and clean - Amma's work
        So do I enjoy having guests/relatives...sure because amma does all the hard work and I end up
        • taking short breaks from work - The size depends on the workload and funload
        • visiting malls..old and new - the only chance I get to explore them
        • catching a movie or two - the planning happens before they land here. Am a total movie freak...and I love the intervals too
        • chit chatting,gossiping,solving world problem from the couch - My vocal chords never give up or in
        • visiting other relatives known and unknown - refreshments for the mind and tummy
        • shopping with and for them - love it
        • having extra servings of junk food - love it to the power infinity...
        Strenuous? Absolutely :)

        The year began with a string of  loved ones housing themselves with us. It was sure cozy and nice.

        I was crying when they all left one after the other :(

        Now am waiting for the next batch to arrive.....come fast folks we've got a whole new year to cuddle through ...

        Ps. Well, strangely after all the work Amma had to do and is doing...she had tears in her eyes when each of them left....now that is something... I love you Amma ...you're an absolute Gem

        Monday, January 10, 2011

        I resolve to....

        • be a better human
        • be a better daughter
        • be a better mother
        • be a better friend
        • be a better worker
        • be a better student
        • be a better wife
        In that order...what needs most effort to the one that needs least...'cause am the 'bestest' wife M can have ;b
        ( Modesty RIP!)

        Ps. Not getting to the specifics am I?....I will I will....

        Thursday, January 6, 2011

        2010 and 2011

        Happy New year fellow bloggers

        A new year is something we all look forward to
        To do new things
        To change routines
        To grow

        - sped past
        - brought in trouble as Acha fell ill
        - gave lovely moments with friends and family
        - did a course on the professional front
        - made achu boy begin to think like a man with the needed doses of being the lovable child he is
        - M and I had our share of tiffs and cuddles
        - Is over and am blessed with the people and things I love around me safe and tight

        - I wish to be as happy it started of to be
        - Health
        - Happiness
        - Peace
        - Less of frowns...No frowns are impossible
        - More of smiles

        PS. Specific targets for 2011 will be updated.