Monday, December 28, 2009

The Personal Monster - III

Went up to the Girl at the front desk and gave my file. She looked at it and smiled. I went all cold at that smile. Was that a smile of consolation I wondered frightfully.

I asked her which tooth was to be extracted and I also had to have a RCT. Its the Right molar and Right middle tooth for RCT she said.

I knew it. Its the wrong side. All along I had this feeling that my doc was talking all Right and poor me thought she was mentioning about the Left molar extraction and RCT.Why?...Because it was the left side that was painful. My right side didn't hurt at all.

She vanished inside rather puzzled. She came back and told me to wait......again?...oh the suspense was torturing me......

My doc came out and called me. I felt numb all over. She asked me what the problem was and on mentioning my plight she told me she would work on my Left molar and do a little filling later on the front left tooth. Done. That solves the problem. Now what?

Ps- For the girl at the desk - am just another patient, For my Doc- am just another patient but for me this is An ordeal with the my Mental Monster. How different each percpective is for every single situation.

Busy-ness Ahead

The coming months are filled with work and pleasure trips.

January first week - Will be in Delhi on a work assigment. Heard its pretty cold in Delhi. Any suggestins on how to combat the chill are welcomed from the experienced lot.

January second week - This week will begin with Grandparents Day at Achu's school. Achu is singing a song :). Then comes the Mom's event which am looking forward to attend. And will see me doing a lot of shopping personally and with M's family for my BIL is getting married early February. I love shopping and this is going to be fun.Might be some inviting work if its not over when we are in Delhi.

January third week - Beautification of our flat, Packing stuff, informing the school that Achu will not be coming for a week, Last minute stitching amidst Pongal celebrations which majorly includes watching TV

January fourth week - Sending off MIL, FIL and BIL , getting tensed jus for the heck of it :b, Calling up all my friends and informing I won't be there for a whole week and make sure they miss me :b

February First week - I think all of us know what happens when your the Older DIL at Your BIL's Wedding. Lots of dressing, talking, smiling, eating and walking.... phew.....Won't have much work since M's family is huge with cousins and mama's and mami's all over and we belong to the previleged boy's side afterall :). Achu is gauranteed to have lots of happy times with all his cousins.

February Second Week - Getting MIL's Place ready for the new bride:):):)....Then maybe we will get the oppurtunity to go to all the places The new couple is invited to a yummy meal.....And if the flat is fit for public display then we invite them as well otherwise they might have to wait to be invited like the others who at this juncture I would like to thank for the patience they have exhibited for the past 2 years

PS. These happy weeks ahead there will be many moments to cherish and God Bless us all for nothing is possible without the Supreme's presence......   

Ear-gear in Chennai this Winter

The chilly chennai breeze gets into your ear

Your M's Sinus worsens and he needs hot water and a hug every time he sees you ;b
Your Achu's Nose is blocked and voice has cracked at 4 yrs!!!!!!!
Your Amma who does 90% of your job gets a coff ,cold and feels feverish ( Ohhh No)
You get a bad cold with occasional coff
All of the above witness thick yellow flem first thing in the morning

Noticed the new trend this winter in Chennai?
The head gear...or rather the Ear gear
This headphone kinda thingy that can be placed over the ears.
It has become a rage in Chennai
I find every Kuppu, Vadivu and Bhai sporting one
They come in military colors
And in different sizes

Wondering how the poor bikers can listen to their FM with this gear on ...They have the will so they sure will find a way

Am I getting One?
Am getting Three
for M, Achu and Me

PS. Going by the old saying.... Am just 'Preventing' the chilly breeze from getting a few bucks into my ENT's pocket :) Go for the Ear-Gear babe...It's in and it's a sure Win

My Personal Monster -II

I started from office with my Acha at around 2.30pm for the dreaded appointment was at 4.00 pm.

M agreed to escort me to my monster but was held up doing the usual boy stuff of testing yet another car. He told me he would reach home just in time for us to leave. Not knowing that any instance of upsetting my set plan would cause my BP to shoot up.

Went home ate, brushed my teeth and was waiting for Dear M to arrive. And he did at 2.50pm. He ate and then asked me if I was ready to leave. I nodded.

Acha asked me if I needed his presence. So sweet of him :) I wouldn't mind the whole world coming with me but then I said it was ok since My strong M was coming with me.

We were in the car. The traffic at this hour was kinda suprising.
And M started " I have to pick up my LIC papers. Let's do it on the way".
Me: "What???? Noway we will be late for the appointment...grrrrrr"
M: "Don't be stupid this will take just a couple of minutes"
Me: Sulking with tear filled eyes thinking how cruel a man could be.
Here is a little gal waiting to confront her hugeeeee monster and this man wants to get his work inhuman ..grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

He hardly took 5 minutes and we were back on track.
4.00 pm sharp we were at the monster's clinic.......................

PS. For the man everything other than his problems seem simple ..he doesn't even want to think the way a women thinks...while a women thinks for herself AND for others...for some women it comes naturally, for some women because they have no other choice..and a few other women just start becoming men :)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

My Personal Monster - I

Tomorrow I visit the dentist 4.00pm

Can't really frame how frieghtened I am. The feeling of immense helplessness. I have to go and I have to go tomorrow. Have run away from this monster for 4 yrs now and today I confront him with lots of damage done. He took a look at my X ray and frowned...nodded his head in disbelief and told me there was lots to be heart sank and my head felt dizzy...

An extraction and a root canal for tomorrow and lots more to follow....

I am praying for my self today

I am scared...

PS. Realised that the more you run away from ur personal monsters the more the invincible they grow to be. But given a chance I will still run away yet again..maybe with a bag full of painkillers though.......

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

The past few weeks....

When every blogable moment passed I sighed. I couldn't get to the computer to update. And the moment vanished. Nope I really don't have a little note to jot down the event. Maybe I should start doing that.

My Acha wasn't feeling very good and had a little surgery and around the same time my Amma had a fall and sprained her leg. Had my dear Anna and Valliachan to help me out though. They came down from Trivandrum at the right time and were of great help all through the dull moments. I was shuttling between hospital and home....My parents had a tough time ...went through a lot of pain...I hate to see them hurt....God got us across the hurdles ....Thank God and for all the Angels who helped us through the ordeal.

Acha blames it on 'Sani''s transition and Amma on carelessness....I just think that its bad luck but find it reliveing that I got the oppurtunity to look after both my parents ...though I did have moments of anger and frustation...which I regret now. I have to say M also went through a ruff patch since M's Acha also was in hospital at the same time!..

Achu had a bad cough and cold and the doc says it wheezing...and I don't agree with him...He is better now and I seem to have inherited the coff and cold :)...

M was outta town to get my BIL's wedding fixed...One happy event amidst all the gloom...:D...The wedding is fixed and will be on 5th Feb 2010. Looking forward to all the Shopping ,Inviting, Eating and everything that comes with the wedding :):):):)

PS. Thinking on investing on a good laptop...a comfy one I can blog instantly....:)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Learning to Love

Not many people in the world love you unconditionally...Atleast for me ..not many...I have realised that only my Amma and Acha have the unselfish love that even I cannot show as a parent to my child.

I am blessed to have them as my parents and there isn't a minute in my life that I fail to understand that and be thankful for that.

Unselfish Love is so so scarce and I have it in 2 ppl....I am guilty of being selfish even to those 2... out of sheer laziness that is...

I find that they are very good human beings. They love without expecting to be loved...which is very very difficult in my case. I can't bear it when love isn't reciprocated. I can love an enemy or a stranger because I seek and find some good in every soul ...BUT I can't love somebody who knows me well if that person hasn't shown me instances of love or has shown me instances of hate.....I have the patience ....but for how long....there is a point when i tend to never forget the misdoing or undoings of people I love ..and it is so tuff to cope ....they say forgive and forget....that isn't easy...not at all

PS. It is tuff to be good to ppl u love and don't see it than to be good to a person who u hate .....strange!

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

What have I done?????????

I begin the last month of this year today
I remember so many things I wanted to do by the end of the year still lieing there intact on my to-do list
I am guilty
I am sad
I am terribly lazy
even at being guilty and sad........

Score Sheet
Personal Acheivements : NONE
Professional Acheivements : NONE
Knowingly Done Any Good: NOPE
Unknowingly Done Any Good : How would I know...Jus hope I did

Rating for the Year : A total failure...and blame it on only the self

Any problems that lead to the failure other than self : NOPE
Infact I have all the support all around me ...God Bless

PS. It's a secret and will let it out when the New year sets in........

Monday, November 30, 2009

And blogs to read before I sleep...

Phew! Everyday when I check the blogs I read I keep scanning thru their blog list and then the chain jus keeps getting longer and longer...hop...hop...hop...

I wish I was put in a room the whole day and asked to read up all the blogs I want to read..with food and a drink from time to time...AND be paid a good sum for doing it....That would be my Dream job....:)

Some of these gals are so good ...blogs that interest me are
- always women centric blogs
- definitely crisp and funny blogs
- mostly mommy blogs
- sometimes art blogs
- maybe fashion and fitness blogs
- rarely male blogs
- never serious blogs

I get drawn to bloggers of similar

-Thoughts and opinion
-Situation in life..age might play a slight role :)
-Location ...Indian blogs interest me more

I get excited when I ralise that there a few other ppl out in the big bad world who are going through what I am going through....
- raising kids
- raising husband ( yeah singular it is and will be:)...)
- maintaining a home
- managing all the ppl in their lives
- trying to live upto expectations - of others and most importantly their own
- at work

Totally realxing when I read these blogs
Thank u bloggers
Thank u blog world

PS. Yup! I have Blogs to read before I sleep

Thursday, November 26, 2009

I Love to.....

  • Dance ...Would have loved to be a choreographer...Give me any song and I am confident I can dance for it...for sure
  • Write....Poetry is something I started very young. Strongly believe that it is one super way to express what u feel without another soul knowing what its all about.Now a days I blog ....while poetry was polished publishing ..blogging is DIRECT. Nope the 2000s don't need diplomacy in thought.
  • Draw/Paint/Sketch....From my biology classes to social science I found a reason to insert a picture into every answer I wrote...have entered many contests..still hunting for more...have won few...lost many....the love for art still earns to be nurtured 
  • Talk to Amma: I love to share my thoughts with my dear mom....she has always been there for every moment of my life . A great support and an inspiration want for abro/sis ends when i sit and talk to a days we rarely get the time to have our chats ...its all about what's for lunch dinner breakfast and achu
  • Read Comics and Magazines : Yeah am no avid reader...a light reader am I. Love to just lie around on a couch with a hot/cold drink some snacks and glance through comics and magazines...woooww....the last time I did that was during my college long ago that is :(
  • Watch TV : Oh I love to have a hot bowl of noodles in front of the TV. And with so many channels to choice from its a joy to toggle between them and get to the rite channel of choice :D 
  • Go to the Cinemas: During my school days and college days I could go to the cinemas with my friends only if a parent accompanied us... after which I could count the number of times i went to the movies...Marraige brought dreams of weekly trips to the cinemas ( asked for too much I guess) but the reality had 1 inspirational movie every three months after 2 months and 29 days of  perspiration!!!! Have to chide M to take me to the movie of my choice and found it bugging that now I have found a few gals who would accompany me with equal vigor.
  • Eat : I love food. Any kind. Like to experiment. Thought I could anything under the sun until the waiter at a posh hotel in sydney placed before me a half cook salmon on papad that had the stink that could kill a thousand roses ina sec. And then my eatable list was one short :) From Burgers to biriyanis...From Sizzlers to Sev puris....I Love Food ..M often asks me eat to live or live to eat.....he's of the former club while me happy to be in the latter clad :b
  • Be with friends: I could talk pages about this one....Its my dream to have friends all around me...I love to socialise and very much go by the words'Laugh and Be merry till the music ends...then play the next CD'!!!!!
  • Travel: By Air, on the track, by water or on wheels anything is ok with me....I think this happens to be the single thing God thought M and I have to have in common. M loves to travel too. Though we barely get to travel ...the times we did have been wonderful....My lil Achu loves to travel too...So its a family thing and am I happy :):):)
PS: This is a dynamic list ...It has to be :D

Me vs My M's Gizmo World

I share my life with M with non-living things. I would like to describe these gizmos as nothing more than that. If there was a more basic explanation I would love to use it.

The I phone - Sure an apt name for that thingy that makes any person be happy being the 'I' and not 'We'. M spends most of his time on it, with it and for it. I wonder how life was before the invasion of cell phones. I practically can't get through a normal conversation without M getting a call or making one or just going into a trance glaring at the whatever resolution screen baaaahhhhh!

The Laptop - Occupies an equally strong position. Be it work or browsing or downloading he spends alot of the little times of togetherness we share with this laps all the attention.

The Camera - This was once an obsession..lately in the lean period but will gain momento when he invests in a advanced model.This craze would have gained consent from me only if he didn't fancy clicking only his I phone grrr/lap top/car/the lil flower in the garden rather than clicking some people!

Then there is the car and all that goes with it.He reads a thousand journals about it. Most of our outings after office have been to car showrooms for test drives. And my son is a party to this. Happy atleast the 2 of them bond when it comes to the cars in their lives.

If M instigates a chat it would be about the above mentioned stuff or about his car or about the next high definition home theatre that's in town.Now a days since M has ventured into becoming Share khan, he adds the market to his list of topics

I don't now whether to pity him since he has a partner who is least interested in all of the above and would rather be doing other things. If God made us live together amidst such vast differences it must be for a reason....

PS. If only I knew the reason .....coping with an alien would be much easy for both of us !!!!!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009


- Nothing is expected outta them...except by their wives :b which is not considered as a valid expectation
- Their mothers mother them ALWAYS
- Work lasts only until they are in office space
- They get to sit down and read the paper AND get the tea hand delivered..grrrrrrr
- They can walk out, walk in, take a trip at any possible time with or without any kinda prior notice
- Ask them their day's schedule and the answer is "I don't know"
- Their mobiles are busy/ringing/not reachable...they are in a very important meeting...
- They test drive a million cars a zillion times
- ONLY their time is precious and needs to be managed
- the greatest assumption ...they are always right
- and the tea cup lies in the drawing room until it is accidently broken by the kiddo or picked up by the woman to be washed and kept ready for tomorrows tea ...baaah !

PS. There maybe exceptions...but sighhhhhhh....they will remain to be exceptions for another decade!

Friday, November 20, 2009

Three Weddings and a Meeting

Tomorrow  21st November 2009  happens to be the most eventful day I guess....To start with ...since all the other days turn out pretty eventful when they end with no prior notice :- /

First Invitation I received nearly 2 months ahead was that of my office junior.
Then  My school friend's sister is getting married
Then my client's son is tying the knot too
So many knots all on one day

I think this day (22.11.2009) happens to be the last muhurtham for the year 2009...
The next muhurtham will be somewhere after 15.01.2010
and so the rush :)

Its gonna be Rush day tomo....and what I have decided is
Go for the day long meeting - get back in the eve- get dressed and go with achu and M for wed-1 reception- let Acha go for wed-3 reception- Sunday morn go alone or with achu or with achu and M for Wed -2

Ps - Hoping the day will be enjoyable..the degree depends so much on so many things...

UPDATE : Had my damn migraine attack :( so couldn't go to any of the weddings....managed to go for the enjoyable meet though :D

Thursday, November 12, 2009

My life @ this moment

- The readiness of a friend to give me company when I go to my monster ( the dentist) brought a tear to my eye...thanks Sayee :) 
- The need for a sibling rises yet again in my life. But God has given me a bunch of cousins to fill the gap.
- I know beliveing in God and surrendering to him is the only resort man has...and I am doing that every minute...God peace of mind is all I ask for......
- Learnt that getting a space decluttered  and organised is a ongoing process....always!

PS. I know I can never be without certain people in my life.....I might live but it will never get the completeness it has with them in it....

Thursday, October 29, 2009

One Year of Blogging!

I jus realised its been a year since I started blogging....Not many blogs but the thought that some of my feelings have been voiced out right here gives me a good feeling.....

What  this one year of blog world did to me
  • Made me realise how special certain otherwise forgetable moments are in life
  • Made me laugh and cry with so many other bloggers who shared a piece of their lives with me
  • Made me happy to find so many like minded strangers in the real world...a big relief :)
  • Made me a better giving me a place to vent out and be me
PS. Hoping to blog for life......:)

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Who Ate My Heart ?

Well it was sunday and it was special since I found my self inclined towards making some puris for breakfast. This event doesn't really happen unless saturday has treated me well...

After all the effort and time I had rolled out around 14 - 15 puris for 3 adults and 1 child....
I fried the puris which were multidimensional....Don't know when I will master the art of getting a circular puri/chappathi ...I never tried to master it anyway...who cares...It should fit the pan/tawa..It should cook...It should taste good....that's a necessity...nothingelse is  :)

And when I was half done ....a shape jus popped out of one of the puris I placed in the boiling oil that made my girlish mush shriek out....A Heart... A Heart...

Well there wasn't a soul around....M and achu were fast I picked up my camera phone and clicked the I bow down to u...for this moment could not have been cherished if it wasn't for u....:)

I had to go out leaving the duo at home that Sunday so I left the breakfast on the table and left... I did mention the heart puri to M who seemed more engrossed in those papers which propagate more of violence than peace ...God save the world and MEN....if we Women can't do it... that is :b

As I was heading to my destination...I got a call on my mobile....( techie scores again )....M said " Hey can I eat ur Heart?"..I said with the same girlish giggle "oh yes u can" :):):):):)

PS. Some moments in life are so litle that it might jus go unnoticed ...grab it and cherish this one makes me wonder if M dear really wanted to sound mushy..or was it that he was reconfirming just to make sure I don't blast him when I get back and find my heart missing ...whatever it is....The moment made my sunday a total funday

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Random Happenings

  • A Heart Felt Prayer answered. Thank You God
  • Getting totally blank sometimes...not knowing what to do next...
  • M going to Sabarimala so we started being veggies from 26.10.09
  • Having the mild headache I have, it skipped a month and now is back....:(
  • A hunt for a cook remains just that - a hunt
  • Finally drafted a weekly menu....yet to implement it...maybe from next week 
  • I have this one little phrase that keeps popping in my mind " miles to go" which translates to "things to do" in raw terms....  
PS. Thanks again God......Can't imagine how many things can go wrong if u didn't exist....Thank Heavens the atheist is wrong..

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Masakali-ing in Delhi

What I did
  • My first trip to the capital .We stayed at The Park  where the Rooms were impractically classy and the Food sumptuously yummy 
  • The initial 2 days had us in total greenery while the remaining 3 days  we understood that every city had its greens and greys 
  • Visited the Red Fort, Qutub Minar ( yeah right from the history books to reality it jus popped out....) and the India Gate
  • didn't do any shopping as we felt there wasn't much of a difference ...maybe we needed somebody who knew where to go....we shuffled our way through the shop filled lanes of  Palika bazaar and the like 
  • I really wanted to sink my teeth into some hot jelebis and local cuisine but couldn't :(
  • Went to Delhi - 6.... wanted to do the Masakali dance but restrained ;) ( the maturity meter)  didn't stop me from humming the song.....over and over again
PS. If the Destination be Delhi then the Project is Jelebis ;b ( can hear my M go " is there anything other than food that crosses your mind ????) 

Monday, September 28, 2009

To Love, Laugh and Hug

Life has become slightly hectic....a mad rush...not that it was any better before but then the effects of not being able to do the things I love is starting to surface....

I can't read the magazine section of the daily paper ( the only pages I read :)...)
I can't chit chat sweet nothings to my friends
I can't relax....
I can't jus stay for a sec not thinking about what next....
I keep saying 'yedhu cheyan' ( what to do ) with no perfect reason making ppl wonder why am so out of the world in the wrong sense that is
I can't get the time to take my lil one to the places he loves (yeah a mummy crime* that is)
I can't really get myself interested in coochie cooing with M  even though he somehow finds the time to..poor thing
I can't be the daughter I want to be

After all these can'ts....I don't have any satisfaction in what am doing
What's the point ...I think....
Am I running to Stay in the same place..
Or is my running taking me nowhere

Sheesh!...Am exhausted living this mechanical cluttered life....

Ps. If there be a reason to live let it be to love and laugh.....maybe hug too :D

Sunday, September 20, 2009

Being an Angel

Childhood had me in the best of character. Seriously. Now I feel so not-so-good.As one gets exposed to a greater part of mankind one can't keep up to being an angel anymore. Atleast in my case that has happened. I have no idea from where all those yucky traits such as jealousy, anger, incompatibility, suspicions, doubts, insecurity and many more just crept into me. It feels miserable.

My parents adviced me that it isn't good for the mind and body. that's something I know. But I am truly human and ain't God to just let go and bear up with things that happen all around me! I always keep telling that it isn't tough to leave all worldly pleasures and pains and be a saint. The challenge is to remain a saint amidst the chaos and characters that surround you in the real world like my parents. They qualify a 101%.I tried and miserably failed....stopped trying since I feel it feels much better being what you really feel like being rather than suppressing your feelings.

Yes I know its about being good in the first place . So where is the question of supression you ask me. That thought just came into my mind. Hmmmm woow now that's really tough. If I wasn't a polluted person in the first place then it would be easy but now .....

PS. Being an Angel ...2 steps towards brings me 3 steps away always....but to the good am good that's about how close I could get to being the angel....:)  

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Furnish Hope

Its almost 2 yrs since we shifted to our apartment and we still haven't furnished it fully. Until a few months back the reason was achu my son. I was a bit scared of putting in stuff that would hurt my active kiddo. Though M thought I was being too careful and overprotective.

Now achu has grown and we thought of moving on from living out of a suitcase. M and I shopped for a wardrobe which might be delivered at any point of time (for the past 20 days and the shop's representative has a 'not reachable' status). We received a 'Regret for delay' SMS yesterday. Atleast ...some hope!

Yesterday we went to some local furniture shops in search of a shoe rack but landed up buying a dressing table Neat one for the price.When it reached a littke confusin in handling and 'bang' the mirror panel just broke. Sheeeshhhh!

Now are we destined to live a unfurnished life or what??????

PS. Will take it as a challenge to furnish our home before the end of this month....yeah yeah add it to the list will ya

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

A Mind that Forgets

My memory has been bad for a long time now. Nope I don't blame it as one of the post-pregnancy effects since I very much remember I had this trait right from school. One forgets only if one has initially put it into the brain. In my case I  am pure lazy to even enter certain stuff into those grey cells of mine.Maybe am being too indifferent. That's me. Take it or leave it.

Sometimes I forget what I really need to remember. The real need arises when my forgetfulness hurts another. That's when I feel like hitting myself. Especially when the affected person calls me insensitive. I hate that.One of the ppl I hurt most of the time happens to be my dear mom. I love her so much yet there are these instances where I forget what she tells me to do and she does get upset about it.

- Names ( I generally mention it to the person am introduced to that I might ask them their name the next we meet)
- Dates ( note them as and when they are announced IF the calender is at arm's length)
- Things to do for the day ( lists work only when exhaustive but they end up being inclusive infinitely)

- Work ( Now that's serious since my memory loss might cause monetary losses to clients)
- Return calls ( while clients are satisfied with replies such as " was on another call" or " mobile was outa charge" Relatives.need a more creative reason.)
- ok I forgot what else to add to this though I know there are heaps of things I am forgetting to do at this very moment 

Hope I don't spend my whole life trying to start that war against every demerit I possess.....

Ps.Why is that my memory doesn't fail when I think about the ills ppl have done to me. They asked me to forget and proceed in life but I have a scene by scene photographic memory of every such incident that it makes me tuff to be my good self to these this one more battle to conquer.....or lose ???????


Saturday, September 12, 2009

Friends are all that I have got....

My friends mean so much to me. Being an only child I guess the void of not having a bro or sis has made me place my friends in that space. I have met the best of ppl and have found out through experience that it is the most comfortable and true relationship two individuals can share.

No other bond is so understanding. There are expectations and disappointments but the acceptance rate is much high in friendship. You tend to forget the faults...or barely see the faults of a friend...u enjoy the time u spend with them and appreciate everything good in them...Even during the worst of times if u have a friend to share it u are consoled.

Don't really know if having a bro or sis would be the same.Often feel jealous of ppl having a sis or bro. And scared of not having one.

Have made so many friends in my lifetime.....

Some I have know all thru my childhood
Some only a few months old
Some who I haven't spoken to for years
Some I cherish
Some I have lost and yearn to find someday

I know they will be there for me ...when I need them...Not because I am a perfect friend...but because I have been a friend...

Friday, September 11, 2009

Save that for another day

There are so many things I want to write about...Sometimes I feel it would be so good if I could just voice out what I have to type....Yeah MTs will tell me they have softwares that do jus that...

- About how dear my paretns are to me....I really want to put it down in words....
- On my school friends and days....was planning to write a book someday ...don't know when
- then there are the times when I felt down and wanted to scream at the whole world
- about annoying ppl.....don't know if I'll ever get the courage to write that down ...since words are to be carefully may cost more than it meant....
- of the great expectations of ppl around u and how they see u ....'u' is me here...

Someday this space will have all my thought in real time.....lotsa catching up to do....

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

Project - Unclutter Life

Today (09.09.09) marks the beginning of the end to living a cluttered life......

My Office room is first in the line....and yes I fairly did a neat job....
- shredded alot of paper I thought I couldn't take the next breath without and now I can breathe better
- Changed the direction of my Table ...have to check whether its vasthu friendly.....
- cleared up my files and updated alot of pending stuff....well...this doesn't stop right jus spills over every time....the neverending job I guess....

What next?....
have planned a few adjustments and additions to my enhance the interiors of my lil room and make it more 'me'....

Ps. My cousin sis had a dream which had 09.09.09 Chennai written on a paper amidst a pile of papers we all know what that meant :)

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

The why-s in my life.....

Why is it that when a women plans she has to consider umpteen number of  happenings during her absence from the normal life line while the man doesn't even have a plan....instant-o experiences-o !!!!!!!!

Why is that the gal is expected to adjust while the man jus remains......

Why is that I don't feel so empowered even though I am ....I feel guilty to use the power....!!!!

Why am I born with a wanna-achieve head and a laid back physique

PS. This blog is updated from time to time....cause I question 


Friday, September 4, 2009

September here I come

September has to give me a chance to do what I want to do….I have to fight against none but myself to achieve my  yrs old to-do list.Yes if my list had a birth certificate it would be very much older than my son!!!!!

Thursday, September 3, 2009

I Hate the dentist today like yesterday and tomorrow

Wanted August to end the way I wanted to – Me receiving the ‘Achiever of the Month Award’ for ticking most …all of the to-do items but God thought otherwise…

August ended with this.....  but hey I managed to VISIT THE DENTIST ….yes I did…
  • On the eventful Thursday I fixed an appointment and prayed  they cancelled it or I cancelled it due to the reason of unforeseen fear gripping every single nerve in my system…but both didn’t happen
  • I got into the car instructed my driver ..{ my husband was on my phone (actually my dad’s cell I borrowed since mine had a 0.24ps balance – it still has jus that) giving instruction since I know Chennai roads jus like I knew them when I first came here at 2 ;) }
  • Ok we took the wrong turn….which is the right turn…let’s go back home …my mind shouted in glee…redirected we were at the dentist’s …
  • We reached …God we reached … MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal {mso-style-parent:""; margin:0in; margin-bottom:.0001pt; mso-pagination:widow-orphan; font-size:12.0pt; font-family:"Times New Roman"; mso-fareast-font-family:"Times New Roman";} @page Section1 {size:8.5in 11.0in; margin:1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin:.5in; mso-footer-margin:.5in; mso-paper-source:0;} div.Section1 {page:Section1;} --> Had to be there by 5.30pm ….hmmm am there at 5.32pm…impressed?...I am of course cause only I know the fear this heart holds and how late I could have been…(honestly am 4 yrs late though)
  • The receptionist a cute girl gave me a form to fill up…my hands were a bit shaky so I took a few minutes to relax before jotting down my details....she scanned through the form and
She asked: “Madam age correct-a?”
Me: “Ehhh! Yes Correct-dhan”
She: “It seems 10 years older”
Me: “ HeHeHe…No no I am actually that old”
  •  Makes me wonder if this is a gimmick they play with all the tensed to-be patients….infact the whole conversation did cool my head and heart a bit. This one never fails does it.
  • Ok, so they called out my name …yes they did and I saw gals with the best teeth ever all over the place …the docs, the attendants, the pics on the wall….everybody had good teeth …then why was I in bad luck?
  • Eeks the chair I hate …My doc looked into my mouth and almost fainted....It seems I needed THE works ( Btw my  senior dentist told me I don't look as old as my numeric age...ta-da so its the take off line  of the season I guess...baah so much for momentary bliss...infact was wondering why he didn't mention  my teeth  looked 3 times my age)….If I was to explain all what my dentist told me I would need to write a book…..... but for the crux of it take a peek
    On 27.08.2009 I bravely went to the place I didn’t want to go….though there are more painful meetings with the dentist in the near future I am truly proud I took the first step towards self –improvement :D ( grinning  with advanced therapy clean teeth et al )

    Wednesday, September 2, 2009

    Loving Life and God more than ever.......

    • Last friday my son came back from school with high fever...jus when I was happy he went thru one whole week of school without a frown on face
    • took him to Apollo where his pediac practises...he was too busy so took him to emergency and another doc asked us not to worry since he only had a fever and cold..prescribed medicines and sent us home
    • His temperature remained high and he developed a sore throat by evening and pain in the joints... and we we were so scared and rushed him back to get HIS pediac to see him...but he was still busy and we had his assistant look at my son....he again prescribes some more antibiotics ....and sent us away...this time we asked him if we had to suspect the swine flu...and the doc jus mentioned that he doesn't think its the swine and that if the fever and sore throat gets worse we could check for swine
    • I was so scared and my little one was boiling ....we wiped his body with water all thru the night and force fed some milk and water ...poor fellow was hungry but couldn't bear the pain....even typing this here brings me horrible memories of his desperation.....I hated the experience of jus sitting there not being able to help him in any way....
    • saturday didn't bring in much difference...he was hot and his throat sore as i couldn't even force feed him for his pain made me shiver....we didn't want to take any we drove to King Institute Guidy and gave his swabs for testing...they said the results will come only by tuesday!!!!!!...we gave him some homeo medication as well
    • by evening we were so worried we spoke to a couple of known docs and my aunt ....we even thought of going to bharat scan for another swab since they would give the result by monday morn which saves 2 whole days...
    • we consulted a pediac ( no.2) close by and he said its ok and we will wait till tuesday and he gave some other medicines which we opted for instead of the first prescription
    • in between this there were so many incidents that made us more worried and exhausted
    • By sunday his temperature got normal....but his sore throat refused to decrease....he was hungry and wanted so many things ...but couldn't eat....he ahd milk and showed signs of normality....
    • Monday morn we took him to pediac 2...and he said he was fine and there were jus throat sores which will take sometime to settle....he started eating bland food ...had his medicines...and was slowly recovering...
    • by tuesday we were all happy to see our boy play all the games he used to play....and in the evening we got the report from guindy stating he was negative for H1N1....a biiiig sigh of relief.....
    My ordeal was small....but my son went thru so much.....I am back now after my little tiff with life .....
    The incident has added so much into my mind ....

    • every moment u spend in life...spend it wise....
    • Laugh alot....
    • Love always...
    • Pray
    • Life can get u upside down in jus secs live every moment to the fullest...
    • Do what u have to do today....
    • may be if things weren't the way things are today i wouldn't have blogged this way...but am happy I am blogging and life is normal once again....
    Today the world isn't the perfect place I want my family,friends and me to live in.....but with ppl who love me around gives me the courage to live....
    thx to my sisters in here who called me during those moments of darkness and gave me the power to hope for light....
    Today am loving life and God more than ever.......

    Tuesday, August 25, 2009

    When the sun shines

    My days seem so boring I could fall asleep just thinking of what my day was like...zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz....wanna have a dose of sleeping goes
    • wake up and mix some pediasure for my son
    • wake him up and place him in a position he can watch Mr.Magoo and drink his milk all at one go
    • iron his uniform, get some warm water for his bath ready ( warm must be cold but not coldddd and hot but not hotttt...warm must be the warm my son achu feels it should be each day), get his breakfast ready, put the clothes in the washing machine - simultaneously 
    • During each break 'The Looney toons Show' offers I am allowed to dress him up for school.....break........come achu have a bath.....break...come brush ur teeth...break...put on ur break.....I feed him his meagre breakfast....
    • 15 minutes before its time for school I call out to dada dear who is in deeep slumber ...luckily i don't need to dress him up as well :D....why i wake him up u ask me...well I need to get my son to school don't I???....My driving skills(*) never existed and that's gonna be another blog content!
    • While Daddy drops achu....mummy rushes to the bathroom to have her bath and change for office....hey not before she puts the pressure cooker with the morning breakfast accompaniment on the fire.....
    • Bang-Bang ...while I am jus completing my beauty bath which jus started five minutes back....I cut short my cat bath to a spin dry and rush to the door to find my maid giving the look that could cook a million idilis...
    • Rush to the kitchen put the tea on the fire , make the breakfast, take the clothes outta the machine ...ohhh Hus back home the tea infront of hus..( yeah i call that the art of tea keeping)....serve my maid some of the breakfast, clear the yester washed clothes into the baggages (*)
    • Now hus has a bath, dresses ,does the pooja comes for breakfast....we have whatever (*) and I go to finally involve in the mechanism that makes me slightly presentable at office...a bindi ,earrings,watch,chain,some perfume and powder....
    • Leave to office and then office is office as it is meant to be...need I explain more?....
    Jus started the day and am already tired....maybe I'll explain the rest of my routine some time interesting

    Monday, August 24, 2009

    An Affirmation at work

    My Orkut / Facebook profile update for the month reads "August Affirms a Gust of August Augmentation of The Self".

    So its the 24th of August 2009 and I haven't done anything towards making this update true....Let's twirl the time frame a wee bit and have a glance of some of the factors that infact do add up to some kinda up gradation of the self
    • My son Achu ...well... I don't think I have to explain that every new day with Achu is a new version of Motherhood makes u discover the inbuilt tools u have ...I love u Achu
    • Got myself gravely misunderstood at work causing a period of uncomfortable turns to a few thought-to -be well established relationships.Initially tried to be secretive about how miserable I felt but later blurted the whole thing as I can't act comfortable when am not . Am happy I expressed myself . It soothed the situation but I am sure I can't undo the knot completely. For things said can never ever be forgotten.....only forgiven and borne
    • A visit to an orphange did make me realise the gifts God has given me and stirred my conscience enough to make me do my little part for the community in the following days 
    • Ventured into a childhood passion that still haunts me in a very positive way - Dancing. That single day of rhythmical functioning made my heart and mind feel young and full of life. Though am not continuing the class ...the reasons will soon surface on the blog.... I truly found out that 
    1. it can never be too late to follow ur passion
    2. and that there are friends out there who sync totally with your wavelength ...its jus a matter of time before u meet them...jus takes some effort.
    3. and most importantly that there are genuine ppl who will guide u thru to make ur dream a reality.
    •  The flu phobia made me a cleaner person :)...mid-august I found myself being the clean freak I never could imagine I could get to be...Now the phobia and mania remains but have become a natural at it..;)
    • The phone calls/ messages I received on my Birthday from friends and realtives made me realise the  Strong Souls I have earned thru life was easy to earn and am finding it easy to maintain as well...that's why I call it Strong :)
    • Met and mingled with so many ppl this month who have surely have a couple of  traits  to be added  to my plain persona....admiration is the only word that I I always say "There is something good in every person I have met in life and the journey still continues".....never can anyone prove that wrong.
    Now this blog might jus have a few more additions in the days to come .the more u think the more u have to add on..but my next blog what I would like to do the next  7 days to complete a super-duper August 2009

    Saturday, August 22, 2009

    The Flu Blues

    I don't know if its only me....but am totally petrified by the fact that we have a flu out in the loose that can actually kills us...and its so very easy....With so much of development in the world in all walks of life I find development in disease as well...a flu that multiplies ...a flu that is dynamic....God why?

    Am forced to be extra clean...extra cautious on travel...actually am avoiding any kind of travel....My parents and husband tell me am jus being too scared...but the news of the third death in TN is making me shiver....Am sending my little one to school....not whole heartedly though....

    They say ayurveda , gargling with salt water, washing ones hands, not touching ones face, tulsi and amla juice kinda work as preventives....but for how long are we to be terrified of 'the' flu.....

    My Prayer list had jus found one more inclusion ....adding to the inumerable wants...

    Hoping God jus banishes the flu from earth.....

    Thursday, August 20, 2009

    To Be Reborn in Blog

    Well...just like me...all plans with no happenings....what should I say....Ok Listen here's my strategy..I will blog everyday....true to my caption 'my days my lines' ...its not a compulsive step....its a creative step;)...

    Today I feel like writing about where we live ...the earth

    Ever wondered what the direction of the time graph of the earth would be.....a big downward facing arrow I suppose...'cause in every passing decade ask man about his childhood and the reply would invariably be"Oh! those were the Good Old Days".....truly ask me today and u will have the same reply...ask my mom or dad you'll get the same phrase....that's one general line that has gained universal acceptance I say..So in conclusion the earth is getting to be bad day by day...yesterday was better than today and today better than tomorrow....

    I wonder how the world will be when my son grows up...or will it end in 2012 as predicted by many ( hear say ...if u know what i mean)..its already half rotten....with disease and destruction ...the plates under the surface are alive after zillion yrs of hibernation.....and want to stretch a bit...whooow why now Lord...why now....

    Scary...but like they all say life has to go on until it stops ...and so we proceed...don't ask me who said that...its hear-say again;).....Prayers are all that hold me together with alot of phobias all around me....Guess I'll do my part to save the world ...will let u know how...and God u do the rest please....